Priceless

Have you ever stop to think, what kind of person you are? Or is it just too troublesome and the fear that it brings up more questions you don't have answers to.

I'm sure everyone has done a good deed, in silence. No one knows about it. You don't tell anyone. All you can do is be proud that you had the calibre to do so and so. Selfless some would call it, or maybe professional.

Though sometimes, when people don't appreciate the things you do in silence, there is a desire to tell them what was done. But we normally keep them to ourselves. There doesn't seem a need for the long speech.

Those unspoken deeds; invalueable. How far would you go to help someone? Even someone you're not closely related or attached to. Someone you don't even know; a stranger. Someone you hate. Someone you dislike. Someone you don't want to help, but end up helping anyway.

That kindness in you. That kindness that is so under-rated. It's so priceless.

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When people don't understand.

Sucks, when they don't. When they don't understand the situation, the story behind it, the wide opinions, the sadness, the blurness, the confusion and conflict that lies within. They're idealistic. Unable to adapt to situations like those calmly, they normally get annoyed, angry, frustrated, and some don't even bother. In the end, you are the only one listening to the sound of chaos inside your head.

For the unspoken deeds, you get a hammering. For the endless train of thoughts of what might happen, you get the silent treatment. You can say none, but yet the emotions tells the story on your face.

Maybe it's time I become more expressive. Or maybe not. It always seems to get me into unecessary trouble. Reserved. Shall I be more of that?

The whirpool of guilt, anger and disturbance; so harmless as it can be, but only if we let them in, they can contaminate a kind mind. Such a small comment; such a big consequence.

Shall I mourn over what I did not do,
Or shall I leave it be,
Because I've never meant to hurt me.

"A white lie, will always remain as a lie with white lines in between."

I think you ppl reading this would probably have a tough time figuring what the hell I'm reffering to. Well, I can't say much...take your time reading.

A Japanese Day (Part II)

Okay la, I have a confession. The pics of me wearing pink yukata aren't much coz everyone was already tired and the camera was running outta battery. So only a few okay?! But better than nothing right :p Enjoy urself =)

Tired la, was waiting for the flimming to commence.

Our starting pose. I have to say, doing the sitting down
version was a lot harder than standing :(

Then we rested!... for like 3 mins -.-
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To compensate the few photos, here are another 2!
Wahahahahah :D

Peek-a-boo. I see U.
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Meet Tacker. He's handsome and a pervert! kdg :p

He likes to sniff me in between. You know what I mean la! But he's handsome. Though, I prefer the softer handsome version :) Grubby you're still my first pick ;)

That's all fer now :D

*No good deeds go unnoticed.*
Oyasuminasai.

A Japanese Day (Part I)

Konichiwa minna :)

Kyo wa, watashi no Nihon no puroguramu misete itashimasu. Tottemo tanoshii da. Dansu o shita, nihonjin no kazoku mo iita, shashin o tottemashita, sorete ichiban tanoshii no mono wa yukata desu! Ahh... ii na. Watashi mo yukata o hoshiin ne :( Dare ga watashi no tameni kaite moraimasuka?

Ah, koko made hanaseru. Watashi no nihon go ga jouzu janai, dagara sukoshi dake renshushimashita :D Watashi wa ne, mada mada da ne. Itsuka, mirai de, watashi no nihon go ga jouzu ni natte, mo ichido nagai no essay ga ageru ne!

Okay, I'm gonna be on TV! Lol. Excited la. I went shooting for a Japanese lifestyle show :) With me were, Sube-sensei, Renee, was it May? and a few more girls :) I had to learn a dance in 2 hours (2 of the others already knew), and mind you, it was traditional dance. Poise, posture ~ Poise, posture T-T It was alright. I picked up quite nicely and then we just walked around in our yukatas :)

Firstly, must cam-whore la. Too bad there wasn't any full length mirrors around :P

Doing a mock up on the real shooting scene. Those are tatami mats. So comfortable *glows*

Another me. Hahahahha. Don't mind me, please keep reading.

The noob learning from the pro. She was good :) Friendly too.

"ahhh, is this the right pose?" *pouts*

Turnnnn! Make sure you keep the posture! ;) You have no idea how it felt like wearing a yukata for 4 hours :\ Tiring.

Shyness. Cousin was there, and he said must act like "that". By "that" I don't know what he meant, so just pose only la. So candid hahahaha!

Was sulking about something. Forgot what it was about.

This was when I wore the red yukata. I changed later on. So, I'll post the Part II when I can :) Hope you enjoyed yourself!

Tanoshii katta? ii ne :) Yokatta. Ja, mata paruto ni wa omachishite orimasu. Ogenki de!

Warning! Swooning alert :)

Oh. my. god. Allow me to introduce to you, an anime bishounen, CHAOS-sama!! Mesmerizing godlike green eyes(oooh), messy rugged beautiful green hair(oooooooohhh), that handsome mysterious OMG triple hot face(ahhhhhh)... his stare... ohhh his attention locking stare~ did I meantion he's hawt?!! (Yes la, yes la. He's not real, just an anime character and all that shit... bla bla bla... but don't spoil my fun k!) Nyhahahahha ;) *Breathes*

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Here we go!

Who's the guy?! Why is he so hot?... u're about to find out!
(His evil pose)
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Bang!!

Melting, first degree.
(Tell me la, why can't God make someone made
up like this real?!) *wails
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And he stares....

*Swoon* Melting second degree.
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He's an Ou-sama(King) summore! What else can you ask for?!
He'll treat you like a princess :D
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Mokona-chan (cute lil round pao), telling him stories :) Elegance.
[Of course Mokona, you're sinfully cute! Come sleep on my bed ;)]

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Got wings summore! So so godly... someone please come and slap meeee!!
(Take me and let's fly away, to somewhere only
you&I will know)
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*Dies* Too much.
[OMG! That rugged hair! Me likeeee]
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Oh! You...you... you! Darling handsome thing!
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Got GODLY awesome powers summore mmkay! Don't mess with him!! ;)
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When he was younger.
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Finally,

He glows god damn it! *Swooonnn*

Wahliao eh, I'm going obsessively nuts over this bishounen mmkay! But it's only temporary la, I think. No side effects! Well, maybe 1 or 2 dreams :p Ahh... if only he was real. *Dreams*

*Oh, just if you're wondering which anime he's from, it's 'Tsubasa Chronicles'.

Sore ja, oyasuminasai minna! ;) sore tomo Chaos-sama,
hontou no ningen ni natte kudasai!! :p
.::Hugs&KisseS::.

CNY .:: Day 2 ::.

Day 2 was actually random visiting to friends, aunties and uncles place. No cam whoring coz I was still bloody sleepy, and the sleepy bug continued to haunt me the whole damn day. But guess what you're gonna get?!
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Lion dance pictures only! Wahahahahah!!

This year's lion color theme is PURPLE! *I picked the right color to wear this year!* lol. Okay, presenting the poser lion!... but he also can dance martial arts okay. Must give credit mer right? :P

Ready or not? Here I go! Grrrr!!

Wah, I need a bit more courage leh :( The poles are quite high! Everyone clap please. Btw, the ones standing at the corner are the percussionists :)
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Then it was off!!

Kung Fu pose ;)

Bowing down pose!

"I stand tall in this world! All hail the dragon...I mean Lion."
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And, finally...

The finale "squat and pose with banner" pose! Haha! Just kidding la kay ;P
(I don't know what the banner says... but
I think maybe it's 'Have a Properous Year'?)

After all that,

Exhaustion.
(Brother took this pic. Sneaky fella.) =3

CNY .:: Day 1 ::.

Clever little me slept at 4am woke up groggy. Serve me right la. Haha. Okay, so the sleepiness didn't bother me in the morning; dunno what I'm so hyped up about also -.-" Anyways, random pics, taken by random people!

Before we left for Mama's house :)

Wanna receive angpao must give kiss first. Brother couldn't do it. Needed a second take! Wahaha. Noob.

@Mama's

Hewo little baby Ammeryse ;) You are so cute, can die! Muaacks ^.^

Baby Grant. Muka serious 24/7, who wants to hire him? He can help you scare bad people! Rawr :P

Mama and Mama's boy ;P Me <3 U !

So awkwardly seated -.- Cousins. Very playful cousins.

What has CNY become nowadays?! Talking to hps only! What happened to human communication? Tsk. Tsk.

This is the culprit! Lolz :P

So far this is the first day lor. Came back dead tired :( The food was good, the angpaos were awesome, the people were nice, animax was on fire! (haha wtf), and babies were cute and cuddly. Btw, I <3 U Vonne! :P

It rained in the evening, and that's when everyone went home. Awww.

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The tired me, when I came home. *Yawn, yawn, yawn...*

Kay la, that's all fer now. Au revoir!

Celebrations in Red

Chinese New Year of course!

It is a day where...

1) We spend time with our family and relatives.
2) We graciously receive 'ang paos' from people and say "Gong Xi fa Cai to you too."
3) We eat like pigs, but of course, with manners and not like a glutton.
4) We get to dress up, in the ongness of red and traditional clothing. But I guess this one is optional.
5) It's scourchingly hot outside, but we still stand in the blazing sun to take a nice family photos with all of us squinting our eyes.
6) We gamble aimlessly with family and friends. Lose money? Nevermind. Family mah, right? Gamble with your own risk please.
7) Get to eat yee sang. Not that I'm a big big fan of it, but what the heck?
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After that pointy speech, why is it that I'm not into the CNY mood this year? Same goes to Christmas last year. I don't get it. For one, I'm not sleeping early yet. That can either mean, "I'm too excited till I can't sleep" feeling, or the "CNY? What?" feeling.

This is sucky. One, because I had a great week last week. Why this week backfire like crazy? I hate it when I think that things are going well for me, and suddenly it just gets screwed up.

Oh well, enough of me ranting about why I'm so weird on CNY.

1st day of CNY - Mama, I'm coming to see you! Somehow I feel that my grandma understands me a lot, don't scold me at all, likes to tease me, always wack my butt(don't ask me why), and most of all, pamper me like crazy. I love her to bits although I don't get to see her so often.

2nd day of CNY - Oh, god knows what's gonna happen on this day. So I rather not write about it yet.

So, here I am wishing you guys out there a Happy Happy Chinese New Year, Gong Xi Fa Cai, Selamat Tahun Baru Cina, Gong Hei Fat Choi and ang pao na lai please? :P Have a good day, drive safely, catch up with your family and please don't overeat!

Pictures should come up. If I'm in the mood to take any. Okay! Sorry, sorry, don't want to ruin your happiness reading all this emo crap. Haha.

So not funny -.-

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!

Sweet bitterness

I am confused.

Sometimes, I don't know what I'm doing. For example, right now.

When I'm sad, or upset about something, I normally go into a silent mode. I don't talk to anyone, don't look happy, and more severely, I don't bother with anyone. I tend to ignore people. If I'm angry or upset with someone, I'll subconsciously ignore them, until later on, when I regret my actions for being so emotional. Though it does depend on the severity of the mistake.

So, to compensate that state with another, I can be upset with somebody and go hyper. I will start laughing very loudly, teasing people, pushing people or just laugh until I'm alone. Normally, I would like to be left alone after that episode. But leaving me alone doesn't mean you don't care at all. It's to know when to console. Wait till I calm my nerves, and care to listen to what you have to say. It's not something I'd ask for someone to do, but whoever reads this would probably understand better; how to manage someone like me.

I am hurt. Thus, the confusion. I can't think clearly now. I don't know what the bloody hell I'm doing. I'm sick. Not on the outside, but on the inside, I'm suffering a little. (Sickness ok, not heartache yada yada yada).

Right now, I'm trying to convince myself that I didn't do anything wrong. I have a right to feel this way after what I've seen. I don't know what it'll ever mean, until someone can explain it to me. Small little things that matter, remember.

Till then, do I have to remain confuse? I'm a person where curiosities must be fed. What do you think I should do?

P.s: It's not fun ignoring you. I did it for my own sake. Didn't want to get emotional when other people are around. Don't be so insensitive and say it was fun. I thought you would have something nicer to say. But I'm still sorry. Sorry for trying to contain my confusion. I was in the blur and insane.

Sorry, if you've felt I did it on purpose.

Vanity; a sweet sin

Let me tell you one lame-ass story k?

One day, Sarah was bored. There was really nothing interesting to do because it was already midnight; watching tv seemed to be such a bore already. Feeling all cheeky and hyped up, she picked up the digital cam, and started to take photos of her surroundings.

"Ahh...ah...what should I do?" Hahahaha!! I always laugh when I see this pic. Blardy stoned, and staring at god knows what like an idiot -.- For introduction must act cute mar, no meh? *rolls eyes*
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But, it wasn't really fun anymore after a while. She then decided to cam-whore a lil. This is what she taught herself.

Shameless pose take #1

First, you place the camera at a spot where you can take a good shot of yourself. Steady hands are good. Lol. And then...STARE o.O.. at the camera. I look retarded.

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Next, she wanted a shot where she could see own eyes. Follow as written:

Shameless pose take #2

Hold the same hand position and snap. SO she DID. This is what she got. A shameless self pic. Okay la, cute also. (Trying to cover up) :P
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The "Somehow I think I'm sulking, pouty, merajuk-ing and reading" pose.

(Name so canggih, the whole phrase is worth *Insert figure here*$$) wtf?!

She suddenly felt the urge to improve her vocabulary. She found a book! Took it up and after an hour; she was half way done. Stewpid book, write more a bit can anot?! *lol, who am I kiddin please...* See that amount of concentration she's putting in? It must have been daeyum good ;)
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Shadow, shadow on the wall,
(Obviously, you can't see the shadow)
Who's the hottest, prettiest sexiest, to die for shadow
in this world?

*The shadow did not reply* :( Poor me.

Ahh... a refreshing break. She stares at the deviruchi and it stared back. So, she stared at the wall instead and started day-dreaming about stuff. *Somehow staring at this pic makes me feel giddy -.-"*

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Giddy enough to fall asleep.
Goodnight, sweet dreams and sleep tight, Sarah.
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*Snore* (Just pretend you didn't hear...)

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Sorry, no happy ending. But maybe got season 2. Wtf?

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Did I bore you to death?

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Then how come you're reading this in the end?! Gotcha! I know la, the photos are hard to resist. (vomits) Omg, someone, please stop this girl. As per title, need I say more?

On the 14th...

... is the day where a universal occasion takes place- Valentines Day. Duh.

To me, Valentines is a day where the feeling of rekindled love and the feeling of being loved is remembered. Many people forget how it felt, when a certain someone made you feel special.

It's indeed a day to take a look at what you have, and reflect.

But I'm going to stop my definition of Vday there. Period.

*Sushi was good. Music was good. Company was, fun.
*Hand painted rocks are actually hard to write on, when the surface is not flat...but slanting.
*OH! I wished the McDonald waiter "Happy Valentines Day". He just smiled. Teacher Amy, does that count as an act of kindness?

I'm so random. Ugh. Okay, let's move on to the next topic of the Day.

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Jeng, jeng, jeng...!

Not to forget, today is the birthday of a friend of mine, WeiShien =) I haven't seen you eversince you got back. Don't know whether it's my fault but I would like to wish you a Happy Happy Happy Birthday! You're older than me. Lol, oldie. *Kidding* Furthermore it's on Valentines :) Hope you got lotsa love from the friends around you. Take care, be nice, and enjoy the coming CNY with lots more love!

Get your driving license quick, can drink already, and party! Haha, nolarh please don't listen to me kay. All the best in your studies @ Nz.

Till I see you, hope you have fun and enjoy yourself :)

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I'm like soooo looking forward to tomorrow. HAH! You wish mmkay. Tomorrow is cleaning the whole house day. What fun...weeee!

Okay, I'm lying. I'm actually looking forward to it. Maybe cause I seriously need to get rid of stuff for charity =) Clothes, softies, shoes, etc.

Well, gonna sneeze more and cough more tomorrow, due to the enormous dust that will suffice and contaminate the air. But, what the heck? It's all for CNY :D

Toodles :)

What is life? Confusion?

When the stage curtains close,
You get an adrenalin dose,
Photographers everywhere, awaiting your finale pose,
They ask you to smile for the camera,
Be as sweet as a candy bar...
Then it's over;
When you thought it was just beginning,
That disappointment you feel,
Is it you or is it just your surrounding,
Or is it just the mood?
What you seeked wasn't fame,
What you wanted was just in a frame,
Nothing's changed,
Everything is the same.
When does time stop,
To let you reflect upon yourself?
Oh wait, it doesn't; you multitask.
When the days are fine,
Happiness is only seen with a blind eye,
Whilst the inner of you, lets out a silent cry...
All you want to do, is just to die.
What do you call this?
A dilemma?
But to what extend does this impact affect your lives?
When you're just trying to go through day by day,
Just trying to get by,
No one knows the discomfort,
No one knows the twirlled up feeling,
No one knows the pent up anger,
No one knows how anxious I am,
My secret was kept,
Only for me to know,
Then I opened up,
Secrets untold, finally arised,
The attentive eyes,
That awaited...
Just like a story,
Being told.
The sacrifices,
The time given up,
Tons of things, I put them behind,
For what purpose?
For what reason?
Till this day,
Is it worth it...
So maybe now you know,
A piece of the real story,
You think you know me,
You think you knew me,
But how much do you know?

*Just let it be. Cry alone, hit the wall, break a glass and watch the blood flow. Make sure you give your all, so you feel much better. Scars are for you to remember, and learn. If you can, just let it be. It has never been easy, and it's not about to start today.

Blessings perhaps?

The 13th. Many will never know what special day it is. It's to be kept a secret, but I guess it's not so secret already right? Though, I don't think I'll reveal what this day holds for.

It's just like every other ordinary day, but with a tinge of the essence of rose.

Never to be forgotten, as it has never really given a reason to forget.

And what a "conincidence", tomorrow is already Valentines :)

3 and counting...

Delusional

When the rain starts pouring heavily,
And there stood a girl dressed to blend with the night,
Gothic; that's how it looks from the outside,
How the rainshowers drop on your eyelids,
Unable to see clearly,
Trying to make out that figure in the dark,
That figure of a girl, that stood under the rain,
Washing away the pain,
Calming her mind,
She walked up and down the road,
With a hood covering most of her complexion,
Would you have to think twice coming up,
Or would you have questioned your manly guts,
Or simply to put it this way:
Would you have known it was me?

No, it doesn't rhyme. But after watching Princess Diaries for the umptienth time; that rain scene just spark something in me to write about. Don't know where that inner inspirational feeling came from.

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On a much brighter mood, CNY is only a week away! Everyone is so busy and my house still look so... anti 8888. Must brighten it up a lil. Art crafts here I come! :)

One day, counting down to a special day.
Two days, counting down to VD and a friends birthday.

These days have been scorchingly hot. Swimming is definitely on my list. But, one can't complain; it's CNY month after all :D

Laughter is not the best medicine

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American Idol is. *thumbs up!*
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Oh wait, not just AMERICAN IDOL. It's the American Idol judges :) (Randy J; the "hahaha" dawg, Paula Ab; always maintaning a "I try to be polite" composure, and of course the unforgettable Simon C; straight forward, ruthless but always calling girls "sweetheart")

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And, what else do ya need other than the many people in the crowd that are present to audition and embarass themselves but gets us entertained?! It's good embarassment! We laugh WITH you :D Without them, it just wouldn't be complete =)

It's not the humor laughter that makes the best medicine, it's the humor in the stupidity sometimes.