I'm already warmed up.


Tralalalala. Sarah is happy, sarah is ecstatic, sarah is joyful, sarah is pleased, sarah is perkish, sarah is thrilled, sarah is glad, sarah is delighted, sarah feels excited, sarah feels gay, sarah feels a little love, sarah feels blissful and blessed and elated with positive aura!
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There might be too many happy words to be read if I continue writing :p

xx

"This is a great step ahead for my loves; I can only wish it'd be the same during my birth month." -myheartskipsabeatbecauseofyou.

<33 loves.

Why bother?


In life, there are certain things that we do towards ourselves/other people that leaves us questioning. For example; why did I give away my last candy to the little boy?, why do I study?, why didn't I use the shortcut?, why don't I smile anymore?, why am I selling myself?, why did I become a fireman?, why did she/he leave me?, why do my parents argue?, why do some people choose to go to college @ 20?, why bother giving away presents when they wouldn't use them?, why did God choose me to be an orphan?, why did I cut myself?, why do people like Bush exist?; so on and so forth.

Yes, why bother? Why bother knowing the answers to all the above if what we did was out of true will? Why do we question our sincerity?

Reasons to why we question:
- As we grow older in age, we tend to think more. Mid life crisis perhaps?
- We HAVE to do those things, or else ___ (insert ans)
- Just for the sake of thinking.
- Because those things affected us emotionally/physically/mentally.
- Because we attempt to figure out the reason/meaning of living our lives. In other words, trying to understand life itself, which in return will only confuse us.
- We regretted taking/going down that path.
- We find it challenging to ponder over small questions like those, and question the many philosophies of life and choices.
- Our life lacks significance.
- Because we don't want to repeat a bad history.

Next step is, after we bother answering these questions, what next? What would we do if we knew the answers? I'm sure if it came out to be a positive/good answer we'll all continue living our lives as it is with all the happiness surrounding us. But what if it comes up to be a negative reason? Let's take a question from the top: "Why did I cut myself?"

1) I hated myself/I hate myself
2) I'm depressed/I was depressed
3) I just like pain
4) I like to see blood
5) There is no point in living because no one loves me

... so on and so forth.

What next? Do we slap ourselves senseless and tell ourselves that we ought to stop it and treasure life instead? Do we stop and and a step back to reflect? Do we continue being that way? Do we seek for help? Do we just wait for the pain to go away? What would we choose to do?

They say, in the end, good things come to those who wait. Wait for the answer to come to you instead of seeking for it; wait for your happiness to come back to you instead of searching what makes you happy the most; wait for the day where someone comes and tell you why you became a fireman; wait for the day someone offers you a job; wait for the day you die so you can ask God? Seriously, does it really work?
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I got distracted and lost track of what's on my mind, so I shall stop here in case I go out of topic :)

Gawd, I told myself I'll be damned if I posted this up but it spells h-a-p-p-y, so yeah, it's posted alright! I love you so, my cousin :) Tho you beat me in 02jam (I know -.-), I knew you did it with love. And, thanks for the hug; you made my Monday a tad better to live:D

"If there were reasons for me smile, one would be because I'm happy to be finally freed from questioning anything that makes me feel worthless/helpless."- thevoiceinmyhead.

xoxo`

I laugh at reality.


Konbanwa minna san. Issashiburi da ne? Well, well, here's yet another statement to tell those who read this blog of mine that I am not dead, yet. I've been so busy and tired both mentally and physically that a writer's block emerged. Though, I do not call myself some prestiged writer or any of that sort. Wow, four sentence and already the first disclaimer.

xx

Okay, before I go on, I shall now state here that this is so not a I'm-so-vain-full-of-my-pictures post. Why am I even telling you this? I'm sure by now, you are thinking to yourself that I'm implying that you're just too dumb to understand what I'm saying. No, no, don't get me wrong. There you go, another disclaimer. Life is full of disclaimers.

xx

So many things are happening and I don't even know where to start or I'll start rambling. Once that happens, surely there's no way to stop me or stop your ears and eyes from bleeding. So let's better not go there.

xx

What's been happening, some of you might say? Ahh... but alas, I cannot disclose it here. So many reason to, but so many contradicted reasons not to.

xx

Oh wait! I can tell you, something. Japanese exam on Dec 2nd and guess what? I'm hiking a mountain :) God, my life is so freaking interesting. Don't you think so? *cue sarcasm*

xx

Gosh, this is getting annoying and boring. I'm going to leave now.

*Was this post informative in any way? [tick one]
( ) Yes.
( ) No.
( ) What's the meaning of informative? -.-
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By the way, after being away for such a long period, I will be on hiatus mode once again. And then, when I'm back, the drama of my life shall begin once more. Nope, sorry, I'm not going to satisfy your curiosity. Not today, not until I feel like it ;)

Ending on a random note, or rather a question:

"Could you define justifying your undying love for someone".

Think this: WWJS? What would Jesus say?

If you have any harship/depressing/heartbreaking stories to share, feel free to e-mail me :) I could listen and maybe give you with all honesty and sincerity some words of encouragement and love.

Free hugs!