When you realize what love is.

Oh my god, it's been so long since I've visited my own blog let alone write a post. My computer has been left under dust that I was afraid when I boot it today, it'll not be workin no more. But I guess, there's nothing to fear about is there? :)
.
.
.

Well, what's been happening lately? For one, happened an incident I'm most likely not to forget for a long time: some rotten cheese dickhead of a bastard stole my precious phone. I know. Sucks, but it happened all too quickly that it didn't dawn upon me till later in the night. But all bad things have an essence of good values instilled in them. I learned somethings that night. 26th July 2007; a night where I was myself. True self. A night where I wasn't afraid to be judged. A night where tears rolled down with a sense of deep anguish. And I know for all who reads this would think that I'm being a girl over a phone. It wasn't just a phone, though.
.
.
.

Anyway, enough of handphones. There are already new loving memories in the making, which I hope will stay this time around. It's all in my head, those things that were written for me from you. It's engraved and therefore I don't have to be afraid of losing them.
.
.
.

Memories that remember you. Chapter 1.

Smelt fresh and warm, he stood by the streets wearing dark navy blue jeans, a white shirt that ecentuated his perfection and breakfast of hash browns. It was just an ordinary cloudy friday morning that quickly turned into sunny spring. With strong arms open wide, he embraced her with squeezes that showed how much he had missed her in person.

When the excitement gradually got in control, she couldn't help but smile and blush. He had stuffed up a piece of hash brown into her mouth while she was clearly, staring dreamily at him. The overwhelming wash of euphoria just nibbled her alive.

He stayed with her while she was working as a marker (think Amazing race). Her mind was filled with thoughts of his existence, right here, right beside her. Mere words couldn't really expressed the feeling that surpassed her brain.

He was her saviour when he offered to drive her to her next point. He saved her again when she was in need of a phone. He was there when she fell down on the road. He was there to comfort her when her wound shot her vivid pain. It was as if destined to happen while he was by her side.

He stopped at a bakery shop to buy a few buns and also stopped at a soya bean stand where he asked her to get him a bottle of soya bean. Reason? He was much less fluent in cantonese than she was. Moreover, she didn't mind doing it for him.

They walked arm in arm (not hand in hand), because she kept fidgeting and locking her right arm on his left that he decided to let her do what she wants. To be happy. To express that one happiness in such a cute manner. She felt no worries, no fear, no anguish, only love.

To be continued...

.
.
.

Tears have been shed,
Moments shared,
Anxiety expressed,
Another period spared.
Holding on to vows made,
This time around, right words have been said,
For them to prove their true worth,
All I'll do is wait.


There was also a realization within myself that night.
"Sacrifice".

"He isn't here because he loves me. He doesn't like me being here with a ghost of my ex in my own house, but he isn't here. He chose to trust me and allowed me face you alone. He did something he didn't like because he loves me and that's only nearly a part of love. You know nothing of love." - Ghost whisperer (series)

xoxo, buzzkins.

The anxiety that tickles but yet it is fearful.

I'm sick of rice. No more! No more! I can't eat them no more! *breathes* The weather was quite kind today that it hyped me up the whole day. Windy & not shriekingly hot or humid. Thank goodness.

I'll be treasure hunting tomorrow with Mr. Jian Eu, bracing the weather that awaits us. Oh, my poor poor skin. Anyway, I think it'll be fun running around as if we are sooooo busy. Further more, you get paid for running around and learning. That's one heck of a deal babeh ;)

Bon odori is this Sat; 5-10pm. Whoever wants to go, you're welcome to set your feet in Matsushita Stadium. Dress accordingly okay! Casual, with costumes or watever la. It's gonna be freaking hot with humans sweating everywhere. Ew. But the fun is worth it; with close tomodachi(s) makes it even more worth it.

*Oh, if you get lost in the huge crowd, and manage to find one of your friends, that's already considered lucky. I got lost once, and... only met up with my parents an hour later. =\

.
.
.
.
.
.

Hah! Just kiddin` Puh leez, me? getting lost? No way! I have such a sharp sense of direction. Right buzz right?! Right Kin right?! Right Jon right?! Wahahaha. I know, I know. Thank you for your praises. :p

To sum it up, I've been part timin` at 'Sense' boutique. It's in Taipan, if you ever know how to get there, lol. Gimme an e-mail if you want to know the exact address. Female clothing, local designer's designs: casual, cocktail, dinner, sweet dresses & babydoll trend for another 3 weeks. Drop by and say hi to muah oggies? ;)

*Best of all, I get clothes. Hahaha!!

.
.
.

Countin` down. Oh please good Lord, don't make drench me in blood, stains and pain. 13th-Friday-tokubetsu no hi. Happy Special Day, buzz. Suprise me, if you can :)
2nd year; black top; TGIF.

.
.
.
.

Nachos and cheese comin` up. Stormie ah, I have no time to bake that 'round, crispy, chocolatey' cookie :( Just wait a lil longer, capish? :p

"Will it sweep my feet away, make my heart flutter, or will it just confine me in a drug bottle."

No, I have not started cam-h00ing again. It's quite an old pic; don't even know if I've posted it before. But heck, don't care la :p After someonnnee, says he is lazy to read. Transformers is rockin` hard and drivin` me nuts!

"Eagerly awaiting the day of the date- I wonder if you are too."

Of mixed feelings and oreos.

I hate you but I love you. When you do something wrong towards me, I forgive and forget. I am patient when you don't give me straight forward answers. I stand up for you when people talk bad about you. I stand up for you indirectly when people take advantage of the situation.

You make me go mad, you make me angry with your words, you make me think as if I am the only one playing this life game, you make me feel like I'm a toy, you don't have any commitments towards me; do as and when you like or feel, you annoy me, you play around like 24/7, you tease the hell outta me, you scare me, you make me cry, you make me wonder why; why do I deserve this kind of treatment, you make me shout, you piss me off, you do many more things to make my life miserable.

But behind all that war and blood shed, you show me that you care, you love and you don't mean the things you sometimes blurt out. You protect me, indirectly and is shy in showing any amount of affection.

And after all this, we have a love hate relationship; although it's more hate than love, but I think you get the drift.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.


You make me hate you many times, Daryl Goh (thought it was you didn't you buzz), but as the 'influential' sister that I am, I still *inserts the L word* you. As a younger blood related person... of course. *Clears throat*
.
.

Now, after all this mushy hoo-haas, let's move on shall we... not today. Another post, another day. Hahaha, in your face! Okay, okay, I'm kidding, please keep reading my blog. Lol, wtf. Okay, sorry I need to take a break, take a kit kat ;)
.
.
.

xoxo, "I long to feel sincerity one day".

"He gave us to lip(s) and an abyss in between".

To speak, to laugh, to eat, to breathe, to bite, to suck, to curse, et cetera. He created it so we wouldn't look distorted, weird or disgusting. It's such a physical gift yet it is used to abuse words and create bitterness.

It is most commonly used for breathing. Second comes the talking, followed by the smiling and then the cursing; the laughing; the kissing... and the list just goes on. Our mouth has such an au natural talent, don't you think so?

It saves us from trouble; sweet talk; negotiate (though the brains gets most of the credits); question; ask; explain; pronunciate; teach; etc.

But if it is meant for asking, questioning, explaining, teaching, talking, saying, then why do people get hurt when they hear the words that they didn't want to hear? What happens to learning and teaching if people are so picky towards critisisms, explanations or questions?

Then, it comes down to being considerate. To think of the other person before you speak your mind, full of impromptu speeches that you forget about one's feelings towards that topic. Nonetheless, we have the right to ask, especially when it involves ourselves. Don't tell me, you'd work for a company without knowing it's terms and conditions or go to war without knowing which country or station you're stationed at?

Taking risks asking the questions people are afraid to ask or answer is another form of using your mouth and of course your brain. But to what extend are you 'eligable' to ask. You probably won't think about it that much until you either spat something rude or once again, inconsiderate.

So, if consideration takes so much out of asking a question, then we'd probably end up asking more questions with ourselves. Who have we got (besides God, for you Christians out there) to speak to or ask. Closest are probably parents, who really varies from an individual characteristics.

I say that because, I constantly fight inside of myself, questioning if my actions are right, if I was wrong to ask, am I inconsiderate or rude to have asked; if I am at fault and many more 'w-h-y's. Where does that take me? Not far, really. Keeping questions to myself overtime will make me an unstable person full of emotions that might take over the conscious mind. If I was extremely considerate of other people's feelings, I'd become a nice person on the outside, or I might be known as the timid baby scardycat.

To some people, every word that comes out of someone's mouth may not be a great importance, but they have said that you should read between the lines, in this case, listen between the lines. It may be an indirect calling for S.O.S, a message, an emotion revealed, or a cry of despair.

Maybe I have been asking the wrong questions, that is why I don't get an answer. Maybe, I'm too straight forward that it makes the person intimidated to answer. Maybe I am thinking too much about 'me'. But then again, if what is to be answered is the truth, then why not speak? The truth isn't really a complicated matter. It is in one category and the explanations and 'whys' comes in another. An answer could make 'someone' happy.

"It's almost a year since that incident. And people told me that I'd forget after the 6th month. Proves that I am strong, and I've proved you wrong either way."

Exhilarating; adrenalin pumpin`

I'll be updating this last post on my Penang trip..(yeah, yeah, I know I'm way overdued, but capish, I like lah! :p)

First up, Museum in the outdoors. My first time. Visitin` an outdoor museum, of course.

See the depth of this 'thing'. There's a story behind it. 100ft btw; freakin` scary.
.
.
.

Yes, I am proud to say, I climbed up that dark ladder with a skirt. Here I am, distressed and tired and hot, in the tunnel we had to 'crawl' in before climbing the ladder.
.
.
.

Inside a 'high ranked CEO's office'! Proud giler. Pose like dungu. No power.
*credits to alan.
.
.
.

The dude who was 'lecturing' us on the walls material.
.
.
.

"Radar's can't detect this place, because of these 'special' walls". *Sorry, I've forgotten what they're called* (This is why I fail military history)
.
.
.

Mr. Pan cool conquering the ladder. *applause* :p
.
.
.

I took this! In a split second! *pats self* :p
.
.
.

'Guinness is good for you!' W.t.f?! Hahaha.
.
.
.

Couldn't resist. (Yes, I know this mirror makes ppl look short)
.
.
.

This is where Spiderman stays.
.
.
.

Leftovers from the war. Can you spot the anchor?
.
.
.

Hot chic a doc. Too bad she's plastic.
.
.
.

Thus, ends this episode of 'history'.
.
.
.

Moving on to some more excitement.

.
.
.
Moi first trishaw ride :)

My aunties didn't let my couz(gal) sit with me coz she was afraid we'd get raped. So she stationed one guy for us. Meet the photographer a.k.a char siu pao bodyguard. (Hahaha, I just made that name up, don't kill me!)
.
.
.

You see, we were first. Dead first. NUMBER ONE. ICHIBAN DESU. But, as you can see, they shamelessly overtook us! *gasp*
.
.
.

Credits to Alan Tan.
.
.
.

OH! This batch also shamelessly overtook us! Can pose before overtaking also?! Why were we so slow?! I don't know la!
.
.
.

The people who work hard to earn RM20 per ride. God, they are so fit! Salutes!
.
.
.

More of the people who passed us :(
.
.
.

This one also la ! =3
.
.
.

So, that's about it. Get fat, get mad and be merry is what you do in Penang. I'm pumped up now; road trip/backpacking anyone? :D