Poems [Read it at your own risk]

I have a few poems that I wrote lately~ But the thing is it's not happy happy ones >"<.

Well, Looks like i was destined to write haha! I wanna emphasize that this are just POEMS. Don't be too emo about it. It's the way i write. Hope ya'll understood! xoxo

Thoughts
I'm drifting on a float of thoughts,
With every word flowing out, my pen,
I write, with confusion circling my zen,
Insecurity is what I feel; thoughts...

Why does one feel as such,
When there was really nothing much,
To ponder, wonder and worry about,
It only adds to my petty doubts.

I am in a dreadful dillema;
Drowned in worrysome thoughts,
Thoughts, which you could've eased;
But the pressure is banging on my head-
I really wished that I was dead.

Till death do us apart
I hate to be led on;
Often to no results,
Only by the words spoken;
and promises made,
But when I needed you;
You weren't there to aid-
My soul whom is crumbling,
Because of the lack of warmth,
That I held before,
If I'm not what you seek for,
If I'm not the one you adore,
Spare me from this nightmare,
If you don't want to care,
But to the two that you share;
It's totally unfair,
Choose one and be done,
Before in my hand I hold a gun,
Wrapped in sadness, I'd be stunned,
Kill myself, and be done.
What's left will only be one;
The one that will not be the love of your life,
You've let your chances slip,
and you'll start to feel like shit,
Even if you were to be a man now,
The one sinful thing you can't atone;
Is when you visit me at my grave;
Infront of my tomb stone.

Confined to explore
Locked up in your own black heart,
Frankly, I don't even know where to start,
Your needs to explore; I understand,
But things need to be cleared up:
You and I,
Because each time I think about it,
I always, always, sigh...
So, What do you want with me,
Is your "pleasure" what you want me to see,
Or is it just an act,
or an excuse,
or do you just like to leave me by a thread,
Going no where, but only to dread,
What that was meant to be,
Has been torn so deeply,
I'm getting tired; so sleepy,
You've almost drained the most out of me,
For all I am now,
Is all broken;
All shaken...