I've lost...

This entry will be quite emo. So if you dont want to read this then dont even scroll down ur eyeballs. It's a poem I wrote, randomly:-

I've lost the one thing which is dear,
I've lost my purpose to be here,
When will my path be clear,
Where no one could interfere.

I've lost my heart and mind,
To make up for love and lost time,
What ever that was mine,
Has been covered up with blinds.

I've lost the vision to see,
What is right for me,
But it WAS meant to be, so...
Will it ever come back to me?

Words never seem to convince me nowadays. I'm still stuck in my ditch and I'm waiting the someone to pull me out. The lord is not taking mercy on me. I'm hurting in my heart. I don't know why I even talk or come in relation with "it". I feel abit clingy and cheap. What am I supposed to do? Under the circumstances I am in, I have no idea why I'm being so fucking kind. Argh, I hate my personality. And to make matters worst, I'm pms-ing like shitz. I dislike what I put myself through just with the reason of "It's my nature. I really can't be bad". Which is outmost a true statement.

Sometimes, I feel that I'm hanging by a thread, so God, this is the time You're suppose to help me. Because I'm breaking into finer pieces as I walk the plank. I tried to enjoy myself, but this is one the times where I feel like I'm at my breaking point. Any suggestions? Please, I would appreciate if there are. This is a fucking ditch I don't want to be. Being angel like = no fun. Being naughty at times = taken seriously. So wtf am I supposed to be?! I efforts and attempts never seem to be seen. It's either too little or too much. You know what? Fuck everything. I've tried and it seems like I've been taken for granted. Where is the death angel when you need him...