If it means to keep you ;


Sudden wars of vulgarities, you know we both don't really mean it. At some point, this has got to stop. This cannot continue forever. I held my breath for as long as I could, and I am still holding; I'm sure you are too.

Pray and have mercy upon the things you are doing to me. Whether you say it blatantly to the open or not, there are times I can feel the vague feeling of betrayal taking its place. Spare me your glares and disgust when I behave childishly. It only happens when I am with you. It shows that there are things in me waiting to burst, but kept compressed in my hollow chest. There are just so many things to say to you, but somehow backfires when the time is necessary.

Although, I'm occupied with the things I am doing now, I never fail to feel a pang of guilt in my heart, not accompanying you at night. I don't say it, I don't show it, doesn't mean I don't feel it. But there are days I question, my presence towards you; it just makes me vulnerable to know that I am sacrificing so many things, just so you'd keep noticing me.

I try to depend on myself, but yet I feel the void residing in me. I need you because I love you. And that's how it has always been. You just don't know how important you are, until maybe... one day.

These past few days, my heart has been aching. I know why, I just don't want to succumb myself into believing it because I know, it will break my heart even more.

Nonetheless, I still love you as always.