It's those small things that matter

I remembered the first time I heard this was a year after I left school. I was taking a lot of things for granted and my parents brought me to my senses.

"It's the small things that matter. Climb your way up to success. Nothing good will come out of getting spoonfed."

Though then, I thought it was bitterly harsh, I never once forgot. After I complain about a certain matter which I detest and hate, I will regain my composure with just those simple words.

-------

Recently, I've read a lot about Lee Joon Ki- korean actor. His life wasn't all that great before he became a popular and sought after actor. Looking at him for the first time, made me think that he had everything; good looks, his fans, his fun loving but sensitive personality, etc.

But reading more and more about him makes me think twice before I judge someone by the first impression. I was totally wrong. I won't elaborate much but his family don't live together, and he started out in Seoul only with 300 bucks.

He's successful now and going further to be an accomplished, respected and dedicated actor.

-------

There is more to life than just looking good, or having the best of looks. The effort and attitude are those that matter. You'll never know when luck will strike but it's only with the amount of hard work that grants us that "miracle".

-------

People always think that I'm a baby; that I don't try. I guess I'm misunderstood there. Hurts though, but I'm still alive right? There was a part of me who always wanted to be better than others. That competiveness kept me going. Now, it's as if the light has gone out. I'm really trying to figure whether I did anything wrong, or I'm just not meant to do the things I wanted to do.

-------

I really have no idea what's keeping me going these days. I wake up at odd hours and to be honest I don't like that fact, but somehow, it revolves around my comfort zone. I don't know where to go. While all my friends are already going to college and pre-u, it's not the same for me. My life is a lil more complicated than you think. I've never forgiven my parents for what they made me live through but I also have never given up on studies to pursue what I love. It's very hard being in that position for years and it hurts whever I do something wrong, because people make it sound as if I've detonated a bomb, killing millions of people.

Maybe this is life, but I don't want my life to be this way. I'm not prepared to lose everything- from loved ones to being a normal teen. I'm not mentally ready to sacrifice. Maybe one day, I will realize that no one is ever ready to do certain things.

-------

Words, they can be inspiring, and spirit boosting, but they also can break you into pieces. Frankly, I can pretend to not like something or someone, but I can never pretend to like something/someone. The words they say could easily break me or mend me. I'm still unable to accept my current situation and the more I sink into denial, the more I will lose out. My mind is getting abused...and I dare not lift a finger to protect it.

That's about it I guess. Random thinking and reflecting. I'm always expecting the worst nowadays but hoping for the best sometimes.

*Lee Jun Ki > Your dance moves, cheerful, playful and sensitive character always makes me want to live a better life. I can always count on you whenever I'm broken. I really thank you for existing and keep up the good work =) Work hard and live up to your dreams! Your songs really describe a part of who I am.

Aza aza fighting!! Bbahsya :)