CNY .:: Day 1 ::.

Clever little me slept at 4am woke up groggy. Serve me right la. Haha. Okay, so the sleepiness didn't bother me in the morning; dunno what I'm so hyped up about also -.-" Anyways, random pics, taken by random people!

Before we left for Mama's house :)

Wanna receive angpao must give kiss first. Brother couldn't do it. Needed a second take! Wahaha. Noob.

@Mama's

Hewo little baby Ammeryse ;) You are so cute, can die! Muaacks ^.^

Baby Grant. Muka serious 24/7, who wants to hire him? He can help you scare bad people! Rawr :P

Mama and Mama's boy ;P Me <3 U !

So awkwardly seated -.- Cousins. Very playful cousins.

What has CNY become nowadays?! Talking to hps only! What happened to human communication? Tsk. Tsk.

This is the culprit! Lolz :P

So far this is the first day lor. Came back dead tired :( The food was good, the angpaos were awesome, the people were nice, animax was on fire! (haha wtf), and babies were cute and cuddly. Btw, I <3 U Vonne! :P

It rained in the evening, and that's when everyone went home. Awww.

.
.
.
.

The tired me, when I came home. *Yawn, yawn, yawn...*

Kay la, that's all fer now. Au revoir!

Celebrations in Red

Chinese New Year of course!

It is a day where...

1) We spend time with our family and relatives.
2) We graciously receive 'ang paos' from people and say "Gong Xi fa Cai to you too."
3) We eat like pigs, but of course, with manners and not like a glutton.
4) We get to dress up, in the ongness of red and traditional clothing. But I guess this one is optional.
5) It's scourchingly hot outside, but we still stand in the blazing sun to take a nice family photos with all of us squinting our eyes.
6) We gamble aimlessly with family and friends. Lose money? Nevermind. Family mah, right? Gamble with your own risk please.
7) Get to eat yee sang. Not that I'm a big big fan of it, but what the heck?
.
.
.

After that pointy speech, why is it that I'm not into the CNY mood this year? Same goes to Christmas last year. I don't get it. For one, I'm not sleeping early yet. That can either mean, "I'm too excited till I can't sleep" feeling, or the "CNY? What?" feeling.

This is sucky. One, because I had a great week last week. Why this week backfire like crazy? I hate it when I think that things are going well for me, and suddenly it just gets screwed up.

Oh well, enough of me ranting about why I'm so weird on CNY.

1st day of CNY - Mama, I'm coming to see you! Somehow I feel that my grandma understands me a lot, don't scold me at all, likes to tease me, always wack my butt(don't ask me why), and most of all, pamper me like crazy. I love her to bits although I don't get to see her so often.

2nd day of CNY - Oh, god knows what's gonna happen on this day. So I rather not write about it yet.

So, here I am wishing you guys out there a Happy Happy Chinese New Year, Gong Xi Fa Cai, Selamat Tahun Baru Cina, Gong Hei Fat Choi and ang pao na lai please? :P Have a good day, drive safely, catch up with your family and please don't overeat!

Pictures should come up. If I'm in the mood to take any. Okay! Sorry, sorry, don't want to ruin your happiness reading all this emo crap. Haha.

So not funny -.-

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!

Sweet bitterness

I am confused.

Sometimes, I don't know what I'm doing. For example, right now.

When I'm sad, or upset about something, I normally go into a silent mode. I don't talk to anyone, don't look happy, and more severely, I don't bother with anyone. I tend to ignore people. If I'm angry or upset with someone, I'll subconsciously ignore them, until later on, when I regret my actions for being so emotional. Though it does depend on the severity of the mistake.

So, to compensate that state with another, I can be upset with somebody and go hyper. I will start laughing very loudly, teasing people, pushing people or just laugh until I'm alone. Normally, I would like to be left alone after that episode. But leaving me alone doesn't mean you don't care at all. It's to know when to console. Wait till I calm my nerves, and care to listen to what you have to say. It's not something I'd ask for someone to do, but whoever reads this would probably understand better; how to manage someone like me.

I am hurt. Thus, the confusion. I can't think clearly now. I don't know what the bloody hell I'm doing. I'm sick. Not on the outside, but on the inside, I'm suffering a little. (Sickness ok, not heartache yada yada yada).

Right now, I'm trying to convince myself that I didn't do anything wrong. I have a right to feel this way after what I've seen. I don't know what it'll ever mean, until someone can explain it to me. Small little things that matter, remember.

Till then, do I have to remain confuse? I'm a person where curiosities must be fed. What do you think I should do?

P.s: It's not fun ignoring you. I did it for my own sake. Didn't want to get emotional when other people are around. Don't be so insensitive and say it was fun. I thought you would have something nicer to say. But I'm still sorry. Sorry for trying to contain my confusion. I was in the blur and insane.

Sorry, if you've felt I did it on purpose.

Vanity; a sweet sin

Let me tell you one lame-ass story k?

One day, Sarah was bored. There was really nothing interesting to do because it was already midnight; watching tv seemed to be such a bore already. Feeling all cheeky and hyped up, she picked up the digital cam, and started to take photos of her surroundings.

"Ahh...ah...what should I do?" Hahahaha!! I always laugh when I see this pic. Blardy stoned, and staring at god knows what like an idiot -.- For introduction must act cute mar, no meh? *rolls eyes*
..
..
..

But, it wasn't really fun anymore after a while. She then decided to cam-whore a lil. This is what she taught herself.

Shameless pose take #1

First, you place the camera at a spot where you can take a good shot of yourself. Steady hands are good. Lol. And then...STARE o.O.. at the camera. I look retarded.

.
.
.

Next, she wanted a shot where she could see own eyes. Follow as written:

Shameless pose take #2

Hold the same hand position and snap. SO she DID. This is what she got. A shameless self pic. Okay la, cute also. (Trying to cover up) :P
.
.
.

The "Somehow I think I'm sulking, pouty, merajuk-ing and reading" pose.

(Name so canggih, the whole phrase is worth *Insert figure here*$$) wtf?!

She suddenly felt the urge to improve her vocabulary. She found a book! Took it up and after an hour; she was half way done. Stewpid book, write more a bit can anot?! *lol, who am I kiddin please...* See that amount of concentration she's putting in? It must have been daeyum good ;)
.
.
.

Shadow, shadow on the wall,
(Obviously, you can't see the shadow)
Who's the hottest, prettiest sexiest, to die for shadow
in this world?

*The shadow did not reply* :( Poor me.

Ahh... a refreshing break. She stares at the deviruchi and it stared back. So, she stared at the wall instead and started day-dreaming about stuff. *Somehow staring at this pic makes me feel giddy -.-"*

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Giddy enough to fall asleep.
Goodnight, sweet dreams and sleep tight, Sarah.
.
.
.

*Snore* (Just pretend you didn't hear...)

.
.
.
.

Sorry, no happy ending. But maybe got season 2. Wtf?

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Did I bore you to death?

.
.
.
.
.

Then how come you're reading this in the end?! Gotcha! I know la, the photos are hard to resist. (vomits) Omg, someone, please stop this girl. As per title, need I say more?

On the 14th...

... is the day where a universal occasion takes place- Valentines Day. Duh.

To me, Valentines is a day where the feeling of rekindled love and the feeling of being loved is remembered. Many people forget how it felt, when a certain someone made you feel special.

It's indeed a day to take a look at what you have, and reflect.

But I'm going to stop my definition of Vday there. Period.

*Sushi was good. Music was good. Company was, fun.
*Hand painted rocks are actually hard to write on, when the surface is not flat...but slanting.
*OH! I wished the McDonald waiter "Happy Valentines Day". He just smiled. Teacher Amy, does that count as an act of kindness?

I'm so random. Ugh. Okay, let's move on to the next topic of the Day.

-----

Jeng, jeng, jeng...!

Not to forget, today is the birthday of a friend of mine, WeiShien =) I haven't seen you eversince you got back. Don't know whether it's my fault but I would like to wish you a Happy Happy Happy Birthday! You're older than me. Lol, oldie. *Kidding* Furthermore it's on Valentines :) Hope you got lotsa love from the friends around you. Take care, be nice, and enjoy the coming CNY with lots more love!

Get your driving license quick, can drink already, and party! Haha, nolarh please don't listen to me kay. All the best in your studies @ Nz.

Till I see you, hope you have fun and enjoy yourself :)

-----

I'm like soooo looking forward to tomorrow. HAH! You wish mmkay. Tomorrow is cleaning the whole house day. What fun...weeee!

Okay, I'm lying. I'm actually looking forward to it. Maybe cause I seriously need to get rid of stuff for charity =) Clothes, softies, shoes, etc.

Well, gonna sneeze more and cough more tomorrow, due to the enormous dust that will suffice and contaminate the air. But, what the heck? It's all for CNY :D

Toodles :)

What is life? Confusion?

When the stage curtains close,
You get an adrenalin dose,
Photographers everywhere, awaiting your finale pose,
They ask you to smile for the camera,
Be as sweet as a candy bar...
Then it's over;
When you thought it was just beginning,
That disappointment you feel,
Is it you or is it just your surrounding,
Or is it just the mood?
What you seeked wasn't fame,
What you wanted was just in a frame,
Nothing's changed,
Everything is the same.
When does time stop,
To let you reflect upon yourself?
Oh wait, it doesn't; you multitask.
When the days are fine,
Happiness is only seen with a blind eye,
Whilst the inner of you, lets out a silent cry...
All you want to do, is just to die.
What do you call this?
A dilemma?
But to what extend does this impact affect your lives?
When you're just trying to go through day by day,
Just trying to get by,
No one knows the discomfort,
No one knows the twirlled up feeling,
No one knows the pent up anger,
No one knows how anxious I am,
My secret was kept,
Only for me to know,
Then I opened up,
Secrets untold, finally arised,
The attentive eyes,
That awaited...
Just like a story,
Being told.
The sacrifices,
The time given up,
Tons of things, I put them behind,
For what purpose?
For what reason?
Till this day,
Is it worth it...
So maybe now you know,
A piece of the real story,
You think you know me,
You think you knew me,
But how much do you know?

*Just let it be. Cry alone, hit the wall, break a glass and watch the blood flow. Make sure you give your all, so you feel much better. Scars are for you to remember, and learn. If you can, just let it be. It has never been easy, and it's not about to start today.

Blessings perhaps?

The 13th. Many will never know what special day it is. It's to be kept a secret, but I guess it's not so secret already right? Though, I don't think I'll reveal what this day holds for.

It's just like every other ordinary day, but with a tinge of the essence of rose.

Never to be forgotten, as it has never really given a reason to forget.

And what a "conincidence", tomorrow is already Valentines :)

3 and counting...

Delusional

When the rain starts pouring heavily,
And there stood a girl dressed to blend with the night,
Gothic; that's how it looks from the outside,
How the rainshowers drop on your eyelids,
Unable to see clearly,
Trying to make out that figure in the dark,
That figure of a girl, that stood under the rain,
Washing away the pain,
Calming her mind,
She walked up and down the road,
With a hood covering most of her complexion,
Would you have to think twice coming up,
Or would you have questioned your manly guts,
Or simply to put it this way:
Would you have known it was me?

No, it doesn't rhyme. But after watching Princess Diaries for the umptienth time; that rain scene just spark something in me to write about. Don't know where that inner inspirational feeling came from.

--------

On a much brighter mood, CNY is only a week away! Everyone is so busy and my house still look so... anti 8888. Must brighten it up a lil. Art crafts here I come! :)

One day, counting down to a special day.
Two days, counting down to VD and a friends birthday.

These days have been scorchingly hot. Swimming is definitely on my list. But, one can't complain; it's CNY month after all :D

Laughter is not the best medicine

...

American Idol is. *thumbs up!*
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Oh wait, not just AMERICAN IDOL. It's the American Idol judges :) (Randy J; the "hahaha" dawg, Paula Ab; always maintaning a "I try to be polite" composure, and of course the unforgettable Simon C; straight forward, ruthless but always calling girls "sweetheart")

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.

And, what else do ya need other than the many people in the crowd that are present to audition and embarass themselves but gets us entertained?! It's good embarassment! We laugh WITH you :D Without them, it just wouldn't be complete =)

It's not the humor laughter that makes the best medicine, it's the humor in the stupidity sometimes.

The night so young

She stayed up till the wee hours of the morning, flipping through her reads and also indulging in games. She wasn't tired. It troubled her that her eyelids weren't drooping close. The night was so young. She believed that she was suffering from insomnia.
.
.
.
She took her house keys from the hook, and silently she carried it to the door. Slowly, she made no sound unlocking the locks and finally she was out in the open fresh air. She breathe in, and exhaled. What was she to do? She sat down on the garden floor and stared into the mesmerizing darkness in the sky.
.
.
.
A song mellowed out from her mouth, and when she soon realized, a song was in tune.
"You were always gonna be...itsumo...itsuka..."
.
.
.
Her melodies chimed into the night's silence. Soon, she was feeling cold. Warmth was what she seeked. She took one more look at the sky, and went in.
.
.
.
Thoughts of things to do, fled into her mind. She had many options but she only chose one. As she walked up the stairs to her room, she smiled.
.
.
.
She was holding a diary. A red diary. Many memories, dates, occasions and thoughts were written in that small little book. It held many secrets, which to life itself couldn't answer. It held many poems of courage, inspiration and love. It was supposed to be a teraphy. But that book has been abandoned for quite sometime by it's owner; dusty and doggy-eared, it was now, only a book of pain.
.
.
.
But she was fine now as she looked back at the pages half torn, scribbled, and it brought back so many memories. She couldn't hold back her tears when it all relapsed. Tears of joy, loss and hurt. There were so many words, unspoken to whom it concerned, so many apologies and so many poems that described true love. As she flipped through the final pages, she saw something more than a sweet note.
.
.
.
.
.
.
It was a suicide note and letters to whom she loved and cared for in her life. A chilly sensation went down her spine. The night...was still so young.

Ignorance is bliss...sometimes

Don't you think so?

"Wanna know my lil secret" avatar! Shhh. Zip it and have a bite x)

Looking pink, smiling like no one's business... shameless! (Oh, please don't mind that cute outfit kay! Nyaahahha, say a word about it, and and... you'll see) *attempt to threaten :P*

Need to practice the 'art of camwhorin' a lil more la... this one cannot make it! So sleepy and tired edi, but the body just refusing to sleep! *Can you spot Garfield?!* Bet you can't bluehhkk!

Jap anyone? (Haha, I think it looks a lil jap =.=) SUKOSHI DAKE!

MuackS! Oyasumi, watashi o yume ni kangaete ne! *Rofl*

Never within grasp,
It always looked one-sided,
Use, and re-use,
Doesn't it sound like abuse?

12 hours of sleep needed, maybe more. Oh please, get rid of my insomnia!

Smile when all is empty

Hie! =)

Say cheese *Chiiiiizzzuuu*

Kissie muah muah *smack*

Smile when all is empty *=DD*

Wtf? Only half of me! It's alright =P (Half of me = anyone 1 of you ANYTIME! *laughs*)

Look in the mirror, and see that you are not alone.
.
.
.

That's all for now, though I have tons more. Suspense holds the crowds interest. That is IF you are actually interested in all these. Haha. Now, please, leave me alone. Kthxbye.

Stupid

Pplz, prepare for some bad comments on a certain someone ok? -.-
.
.
.

You know right, I can now officially call my mom a workaholic. Reason is cause, all she does is work, work work. Want some examples? Here I go.

This morning, I was woken up by my dad, coz I slept with my lights on last night. He knocked on the door, asked me to off them. OK, that one is acceptable. Save electricity mar right? Then I slept some more. But then I realized after a while that, once my sleep has been disrupted, I can no longer sleep in peace, so I decided, what the heck, wake up early la; nothing to lose also.

I came down, said my 'mornings' and opened the fridge. Ate papaya, and then I on the computer lor. Here was where it all began.

Dad suddenly called me. "Sarah!" So I answer back la..."Hm?" Then he didn't say anything you know. So I went to see him face to face. He started asking me questions about my friends. Wtf?! So, I answer la, whatever questions he threw at me, whilst eating papayas. Then he saw my bored face and maybe a little tulan-ed coz he called me when I was busy reading some things. SO RANDOM! Argh =X Please work on your timing, dad.

He don't get it wor! I said, "Can I go back reading now?" Then, he asked, what was I reading. I said, "stories la =.=" He just kept on asking when I clearly stated I was busy doing something. So there is my frustration num 1. I excused myself. BUT before I can sit down, my mom comes calling "Sarah! Go hang the clothes la, don't read." WTF WTF?! OMG, HELLO?! I want to relax a bit in the morning can a not? I know you like work, but don't keep asking me to do things, when I'm still in the morning mood ok.

Alright, then there I was, standing, stoning, getting bossed around in the morning. And this was all because I wanted to wake up a lil earlier. So fine, I went to hang the clothes. Came in, and GUESS WHAT?! I got called again.

Argh, please la. Gimme a break. You know what was the next thing my mom did? She cleaned the shoe rack. MY SHOE RACK as well. *All of a sudden, clean shoerack -.-" * No thank you. I know it sounds like a nice gesture, but I seriously don't want my MOM to do it coz she's a clean freak. And, well, mine is NOT so clean. I just left a few socks unfold and 2 plastic bags there, she freaked already k. So whats a poor daughter to do but to calm her down by cleaning it there and then.

Then, my mom went ranting, about how messy everything was when it wasn't really. Really. I walked away la, while she was complaining to herself. Don't tell me after all I did this morning, I still have to stand there and listen meh. I don't want! *Hanging clothes is the chore I hate the most and also do you know how hot the sun was this morning?! I fried out there!*

Conclusion is, my mom is a workaholic even if she tells you that she doesn't like to work all the time. I don't believe! She should just relax and read a book sometime. But watever it is, she is still my mom. And all moms act like well... moms. U know, nagging, lecturing, talking to self, complaining over petty things, etc etc.

MAYBE that is why I don't want to wake up so early, coz this happens. Don't tell me, I have to go through that every day?! NO!

whine
whine
whine
whine
whine

Dowan laaaaaa T______________T *scared to bits already. Plotting a sleeping schedule*

Who knows next, I have to become Cinderella, minus the princess part?! *horror*

*slaps self for jinxing*

What really matters

To taste, but not to haste.

Staying within the annoymity;
An alias you keep,
Even when you're visible,
None; a fixed rhythm,
Not even a beat.
What lures you out?
What catches your eye?
Who was the guy?
'twas you, out of the blue.
The scent you bear;
Sweet and alluring,
That posture you held,
Tall and handsome,
That sharpened stare:
Froze, I did...
That chilly sensation,
Held me down,
And from then on,
I bared it all.

"I don't have to be inside it, only beside it."

------------------

Eh! Tell me please if I'm wrong, but does eating prawn crackers make you sick?!

Wtf is wrong with my mommieeeeee?

x0x0 *winkS*

AaAaaah...!

Hahahha, omg wei, I'm like awake at 8am in the morning?! This CAN'T BE true -.-"

Sarah doesn't wake up at 8am lol :P Wait, 6am. OMFG! 6 freakin am?!

Oh, I've just finished doing another set of testimonials for my portfolio, and I'm like damn hyper right now. The one thing I'm craving for now, is a nice hot shower. Aaaaaahhhhh!!Aaaahhh!! T___T I'm gonna sleep in class later *sobs at the corner* (Teacher please don't scold me *puppy eyes*) This is terrible! How am I supposed to last the day?! Brain dead already *cries*

I need sugar people, SUGAR!

*Runs off to make a cuppa tea, puts 5 teaspoons of sugar.... mix mix mix mix...*

Okay, I think I'll stop here before I go nuts again =.=

Ja ne! Mata ato de :D:D

*HugsSSss to everyoneeeee!*

OHAYO minna san!
GOOD MORNING peopleS!

First Romance

The anxiety.

The excitement.

The nervousness.

The bright litted eyes.

The anticipation.

The desperate attempt to find that one place.

Alas, he found his princess.
.
.
.

The long awaited moment has come to pass. They walked into the place of happiness and leisure, though, not hand in hand.
.
.
.

What a nervous wreck the princess was. She tripped and there the prince was to hold her fall. That was the first time they touched. That feeling never once forgotten. "Thank you," she said with a shy smile. "It's okay," he said, blushing.
.
.
.

As they walked the huge compound, many things they saw; interesting and cute. "That Patrick is cute," she softly whispered. Apparently he heard her, and asked, "Would you like that? I'll buy it for you." She flushed, and said "It's alright. It's expensive =)".
.
.
.

As the day continued, activities were such that it included, trying to pick a soft toy into a basket, basketball, racing, and the most boring thing ever: watching the balls roll down the alley. But, it didn't feel so bad, because of his pressence.
.
.
.

The day was still early. The first seating together happened that day. Tickets punched, food and drinks bought, and 2-hours of intimacy and warmth. It was the best feeling in the world. Though, they wanted it to last, the time was up.
.
.
.

Ice-cream was one of the activities. So cold was the place and ice cream, but they felt none. The silent communication they had, was one to salute. The atmosphere; filled with the essence of love. With that, smiles appeared.
.
.
.

It was running late. Night has fallen. It was the time of depature for both of them. Unable to entwine in an embrace, nor give a warm kiss, they said goodbye. Parting one another wasn't so bad, because they knew it was not the end, but a beginning. The night didn't end there as the phone rang later in the night, starting with..."I love you".

.
.
.
.
.

After the years, it still pictures vividly in her head. The touch, never gone, the passion, never disappeared, the warmth, kept within her body and that day, never forgotten. Only her heart moved.
.
.
.

It was a Saturday.

Nan da sore?

A cold shiver, cold sweat, the sudden head rush, weak respitory, spinning head, watery eyes, stuffed nose, vomitting, no appetite... don't think I should list down anymore.

What do you think it is?
Nope, it's not a cold nor is it a fever.

Go figure.

A step back in time

There was a place; spacious, comfortable, filled with people.
.
.
.

As I stepped onto the perimeter, I had a flashback. "Such a familiar ground, have I been here before?"... thoughts came rushing through my head.
.
.
.

I've nearly forgotten this place, I whispered to myself.
.
.
.

I stood by the pool I walked by before; bare footed, it was the same feeling I had 2 years ago. That sandy, but yet solid ground. I then decided to explore this place once more.
.
.
.

One touch was all it take to bring the past back alive, even for that one moment. I remember I saw a couple kissing there. I giggled an awkward laughter.
.
.
.

As I walked, I passed by the bridge in which romance was in the air. I still remember the darkness, the embrace, and warmth. The time that sort of stopped. Maybe it was me, but it passed by slowly...slowly...
.
.
.

Sadly, it is but a memory. A memory in which I can only keep dear to my heart, for it was where it all began. The place that I could define as cozy as a home, if only you'd join hands with me, to step in a dream come reality.

That sweet chiffon blue dress, and a handsome black matching formal wear. Love was written all over the night.

Hope

I tell you, horoscopes and fortune telling to some point, are bullshizz.

They lie, they patronize and get hopes high.
.
.
.
.
.
.

But hopes can be like lies. There is very little real hope in this world. Hopes only lead to self-destruction. Hopes are the words you want to hear now. Hopes are always never tied by knots, so what gurantee is there? Hopes are just misleading sometimes. Hope is that one sweet moment. Hope is the feeling that there is something more than a 2nd chance. Hope is the source of denial. Hope is 2 faced. Empty hope births stupidity.
.
.
.

Nevertheless, the majority of humans on earth live off hopes. Hope leads to determination; determination leads to a vision; visions lead to a desire and a desire leads to a dream. People place so many things on hope. Yet, hope is also a vicious feeling, for it can either make you or break you.

Hope; something you can't live with nor live without.

So what's your verdict? Should we rely on hope, or none at all?

Would U?

Would you wait sitting down, downloading your favorite series for 2 hours or so, only to watch the series which will only last for 30 minutes?

Note that you cannot go out, it's late at night, you're lazy, and just surfing the net.

Would you?

"Believe me", I plead.

She was her own problem and for that she knew. The endless words spitting from her mouth, were purely to get her calmed but at the same time, disgusted the ones around her.

At one point, a guardian who wishes nothing more than for her to be herself once more, stepped up; it was a challenge of worth. Accepting that offer with the right set of mind, the first few miniscule steps, were executed with no problems.

Knowing that one can lose focus, she did. Tremendously and ungracefully. Unconciously, revisiting the past memories and the pain that somehow became the comfort zone; the first of problems aroused. There, she realized it may have been something trivial she did, but to others it was betrayal.

She then picked herself up once again, stronger than the last time and started working her way up. Before she knew it, the things she did and said, were exceptionally, true and relaxed. Like how a normal person should be. Though, occasionally, there were lies left behind. Actions only to make those around her believe she was okay.

All in the end, what ever she did, was always never good enough, even for that one step. No one acknowledged, no one heard, and true enough, she couldn't ask for anyone to understand, because no one would, and no one will. Same goes for her, who would only understand the true concern of the ones around, but never the same way that they feel.

*Savouring the last of friendship after adding more fuel into the taming fire. It was my fault, and I take all responsibility. I thank you for all the tolerance that you had for me, and the eyes that saw my misery. Though I may have meant almost nothing to you both, I've always looked up to and cared about you guys.

"May time help resolve the distance and hurt between us. And may you see me for who I am, soon." Only that I pray.

I still love you guys, and I'm sorry.

The Birthday

3 guys and a birthday girl all went out to have lunch @ KBBQ in Taipan. Wasn't a big party, just lunch. But it was meaningful =) Thanks for the great birthday Neal, Weiren& Hx.

Waiting for the latecomers to come pick me up! Muahahha :P Take pic@ Summit toilet -.-"

Didn't manage to take the restaurant banner but if you ever want to eat BBQ stuff and get GOOD service, this could be one of the place =) From the minute you come out of the lift, you can hear all the waiters and waitresses (if there were any) greeting you with open arms ENTHUSIASTICALLY. I was so fascinated that I kept on laughing and smiling. Anyhow, we got seated and as you can see, Neal and Weiren were fascinated with the displays of cute lil bowls and plates! *snigger snigger*

And presenting, the "Eat, Enjoy and Ecstatic pose!"...

Contestant #1
"Ahhh..!! So big la. You think can fit inside ar?" *Stufff..stuff..stuffs...*

Contestant #2
"mMmm... Reminds me of Jo. Lick lick..Tastes good :)" *Kidding kidding! Don't whack me k :P*

Oh, wait..commercial. This was the pinkish purplish vegetable side dish that weiren liked SOOO much; he ordered it 4 times -.-" *Nyam nyam...*

And..we're back!...

Contestant #3
*Gasps...Gasps...* "He ate the vege," Neal whispered. Weiren stoned.

Contestant #4
"Should I eat this? Is this nice?... AH... fuck it la, just eat!" *Chew chew, swallow*

.
.
.
.
.

Then real food arrived.

The beef. We were treated like kings and queens. The cut, cook and served it for us. Whaahha *Shiawase*

OMG. Pukes. I just remembered how this tastes like, and I'm tellin you now, YOU don't want to know.
.
.
.
.
.

Ah.. back to edible food.

The beef that you eat with veges. Kimbap?

All fat and full. Lolz. Merry pic taken by merry people :D

Watermelon KAMPAI!

Reminds me of kotatsu(s). Leg fight anyone?

It was a great day =) Thanks so much for remembering and celebrating it with me. You guys are the best! :D

Next up: The The continuation of my birthday and the BBQ @ Neals !

Happy 2007!

Happy 2007 everyone =) [Though, it's like half of Jan gone ;P Better late than never]

The bad of 06'..well some of them anyway:-

- Failed Grade 5
- Drinking
- Long-period depression
- Bitch fights
- Losing loved ones
- Adam's stroke
- Family misunderstandings

The good of 06'
- Truth revealed about people
- See everyone who have grown to be more mature
- Japanese achievements
- My birthday
- Being honest
- Cousin bondings (Celine, Vonne)
- Working recommendations
- Cookin and bakin more
- EYAA

It started off great,
When everything when straight,
Happy moments recorded,
And then fights we just couldn't be bothered,
Till that day, when everything just pained,
Even I, couldn't remain sane,
Arguments led to distress,
Which led on to more stress,
That ended trusting one, less and less.
Saw who was real,
And who was not,
Hurting those near,
That tried to help,
These blind eyes of mine,
Were not able to see,
I wasn't able to be,
What was beyond their eyes could see.
Fun that were genuine,
Good deeds that were the real thing,
The year that ended,
Was one to remember,
For the good times we all had,
I light a candle.

SSC Alumni 06'

Words cannot describe the presentation but who cares?!

The gruesome and the scardie cat -.- (Salute, salute)

For old times sake. (L-R: Slinky, Genie, Kevinie, and Williamie)

The goofy gorgeous guys. (Wow, 3Gs!)


Was bored before Xmas, so a lil cam whore was done. . .

Xmas, oh Xmas, please come soon...

"Ahhh...how many teeth can you see see?"

Blurred, time to go to bed. Oyasuminasai =)

*Next Chap: The Birthday :)

The greatest torture...

is to be uncertain and unsure.

Dear God,

Please help Adam to go through his current ordeal. It was a sudden shock for all of us. Give him strength to be strong. Please help ease his family's pain. I hope that you would protect his wife, Nicole and daughter Ammeryse from the shock and pain their going through. He is still young and active, so please God, don't abandon him now as his life is just starting to bloom. Please heal him and make him better once again. I pray that he will be alright soon. Help take the worrysome thoughts away as it's only a few days more before Xmas. Bless him Lord, for he did not ask for this. Let him live his life once again.

Amen.

Adam, my prayers goes out to you and your family tonight. I hope you will be well. We all will miss you this Xmas but please recover soon. We love you Adam, don't leave us now :(

Lotsa love,
Sarah.

May the angels sing a song of serendipity tonight.

Guess who's back?

Okaerinasai! =)

Minna san wa ogenkii?

It was gross, and cold but fun.

It was like a nightmare but a dream.

It had no hot water.

It only had the cool breeze as an air cond.

Bugs were all around.
squeek, squeek, chirp chirp, miao miao, crikety crick!

No hairdryer!

No piggy to hug.

No distilled water to drink =( >coz of this I had 4 ulcers<

There were lizards on the rooftop!

Floors weren't squeeky clean.

I was on military ground!

I was flying up in the sky.

I rushed and walked my way out of the bushy and slippery jungle.

... and sadly I came back with a sprained foot. *cries* Lol

Food was good but not so great...still! I can't complain; it was edible.

Everywhere I went, I brought a jacket.

An energetic wake up call in the morning :)

... Did I mention bugs? All the bugs were found near my area :(

Heavy bags. Heavy...heavy bags.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

But I, Sarah, has survived the fun but not so clean experience!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

I'm extremely happy and overwhelmed to say that I'm back!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Anyone missed me? *bats eyelashes*
.
.
.
.
.

Aww.. I missed you guys too! :D
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Well, now you can see me all you want! Coz I'm back and alive...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

... From camp. Haha. Unfortunately, I FORGOT to bring my cam, so no pics :( *I know, I know, I'm terrible. But not all is lost. I might have pics from other ppl who took. See if they could send it to me =)*

Now, I can have a nice hot shower, a comfy comfy bed, my teddies and my gadgets! Muahhahaha =D Computer, animes, and tv- HERE I COME :)

Xmass is coming. Have you guys finished your xmass shopping?

Coming up next : My wishlist ... *laughs*

Jingle bells ~~ Batman smells and Joyyyy joyyy to the world... coz I'm backz :P *Kiddin ya'll*

Ta!
xoxo

It's those small things that matter

I remembered the first time I heard this was a year after I left school. I was taking a lot of things for granted and my parents brought me to my senses.

"It's the small things that matter. Climb your way up to success. Nothing good will come out of getting spoonfed."

Though then, I thought it was bitterly harsh, I never once forgot. After I complain about a certain matter which I detest and hate, I will regain my composure with just those simple words.

-------

Recently, I've read a lot about Lee Joon Ki- korean actor. His life wasn't all that great before he became a popular and sought after actor. Looking at him for the first time, made me think that he had everything; good looks, his fans, his fun loving but sensitive personality, etc.

But reading more and more about him makes me think twice before I judge someone by the first impression. I was totally wrong. I won't elaborate much but his family don't live together, and he started out in Seoul only with 300 bucks.

He's successful now and going further to be an accomplished, respected and dedicated actor.

-------

There is more to life than just looking good, or having the best of looks. The effort and attitude are those that matter. You'll never know when luck will strike but it's only with the amount of hard work that grants us that "miracle".

-------

People always think that I'm a baby; that I don't try. I guess I'm misunderstood there. Hurts though, but I'm still alive right? There was a part of me who always wanted to be better than others. That competiveness kept me going. Now, it's as if the light has gone out. I'm really trying to figure whether I did anything wrong, or I'm just not meant to do the things I wanted to do.

-------

I really have no idea what's keeping me going these days. I wake up at odd hours and to be honest I don't like that fact, but somehow, it revolves around my comfort zone. I don't know where to go. While all my friends are already going to college and pre-u, it's not the same for me. My life is a lil more complicated than you think. I've never forgiven my parents for what they made me live through but I also have never given up on studies to pursue what I love. It's very hard being in that position for years and it hurts whever I do something wrong, because people make it sound as if I've detonated a bomb, killing millions of people.

Maybe this is life, but I don't want my life to be this way. I'm not prepared to lose everything- from loved ones to being a normal teen. I'm not mentally ready to sacrifice. Maybe one day, I will realize that no one is ever ready to do certain things.

-------

Words, they can be inspiring, and spirit boosting, but they also can break you into pieces. Frankly, I can pretend to not like something or someone, but I can never pretend to like something/someone. The words they say could easily break me or mend me. I'm still unable to accept my current situation and the more I sink into denial, the more I will lose out. My mind is getting abused...and I dare not lift a finger to protect it.

That's about it I guess. Random thinking and reflecting. I'm always expecting the worst nowadays but hoping for the best sometimes.

*Lee Jun Ki > Your dance moves, cheerful, playful and sensitive character always makes me want to live a better life. I can always count on you whenever I'm broken. I really thank you for existing and keep up the good work =) Work hard and live up to your dreams! Your songs really describe a part of who I am.

Aza aza fighting!! Bbahsya :)

Nightdreams

If I'd expect - I would probably die with the lost of hope;
If I'd hope - I would probably die for not expecting to know.
.
.
.

Honto ni gomenasai...is all I could say.

"If only you'd know that the sadness I display, isn't meant to hurt you but to let you know that you could comfort me, when I'm in need." - Babychocolattes, 06

Goodnight, my dearest.
<3<3<3

If only you'd know...

You looked so fresh from afar,
Your classroom door, left ajar;
Everytime, I'd pass by you,
Just to have a glance of your new hair-do.
As glancing days passed by,
The closer we got,
The messages went unnoticed,
Only for something new to suffice.
Time was testing our assertiveness,
For only time could show us the way,
What was to come and may,
Will be something good to stay.
I wouldn't have thought that we'd be,
But God has opened up my eyes,
For me to see that,
What was a destiny,
Was just right in front of me.
While everything now seemed bland,
I know that I'm more than a best friend,
Love doesn't have to be grand,
Love doesn't need to be planned:
Trying to reach out to you,
In hope of the happiness that was always there,
Only thing lacking, was the nurturing and care,
Because of you, my heart seems broken,
But it's only the love inside, left unspoken;
If only you'd know...

*Having to have not brought my Malay literature book, I went into your class. Amongst everyone else, without a single thought, I headed straight to your desk, blushing intensely; asking you whether I could borrow your book. As quickly as I came in, I sprinted out*

Moshi watashi o aitakatta...

...you would say this:

Scenerio

My girlfriends and I just came out from the movie theatre.

"Let's go and eat some pasta shall we?" I suggested.

"Alright! Why not? Let's go!" They answered, enthusiastically.

Meanwhile... in the car, my baby darl missed me and so he called.

Him: Hey babe, where are you now?
Me: Hey baby!! Um, I'm with my friends, outside the theatre going to eat pasta now.
Him: Can we meet? *Puppish tone*
Me: Eh?.. but I'm with my friends.
Him: Must you really eat pasta today?
Me: We all agreed already wor...

Getting a lil tense...

Him: Why must you eat it today?! Don't eat! Come meet me okay?
Me: But...

Manglish starts to appear...

Him: Tell them you have some urgent matters to attend to lah!
Me: Huh....uh..
Him: Can la..can la..
Me: Wouldn't it be... *Interrupted*
.
.
.
.
.

Him: I'll buy you a whole Itallian restaurant! Okiesh? I'm picking you up now!

*Hangs up*

Leaves a confused but a very very happy, delighted ME! Lolz :)