Wounded soldiers needing healing.


"I finally know just what it means to let someone in. To see the side of me that no one does or ever will."

xx

One month of nocturnal activity does take a toll on your body. But alas, I am used to it as it happens seasonally.

I've just been too lazy to blog, albeit promising that I will 'update soon'. As you can see, that 'soon' period is today. Having to wait 2 months for an exam results really is a bummer. It doesn't kill time any faster, nor does it do any good if we end up contemplating over all the fails, passes or HD. But whatever, what is done is past.

Anyway, this is a self-proclaimed update, so obviously I have to produce something worthy of looking at lah, right?

I have...

been travelling.

been dancing my ass off.

been meeting new people.

been manja-ing.

been MJ-ing. (Micheal Jackson, if you really don't know)

been celebrating.

been gala dinner-ing.

been movie-ing.

been loving.

been a lot of things lah okay -.-

Let them pictures speak their thousand words.

Perak Mission Trip

Lol, love this. We are just too damn awesome, right?!
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Well, being awesome also meant getting stranded at a roadside in Sitiawan, Perak because our 'transport' was at an undisclosed workshop, without our acknowledgement. Hence the birth of SLK gang. Special Little Kelisa. We had to fit 7 of us into a Kelisa.
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This is us being awesome in P.E positions because the room was meant for babies only. Therefore the lack of space for giants like us to sit in :D
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Kedah Mission Trip

Jeng jeng jeng :) Let me tell you a story of us being stranded (I know right? Why are we always stranded somewhere -.-) in Puduraya bus station.

Basically, we got tickets to go to Sungai Petani, Kedah. Whence we reached this run down place (Puduraya), we were told to wait, etc and the bus co-ordinator will escort us to the platform.

Okay, here's the part where you are supposed to predict the outcome.

And yes, you guessed it right.

The bus left 20 minutes after the guy told us wait diligently. We, the stranded-ians (yes yes, my short form, deal with it) were told to wait for a 3 o clock (AM, mind you) bus. But seriously, we we all thinking that this dude was trying to con us. Gawd, did he think that we were thatttt thick.

Turns out, we were right about being conned. There was never a 3AM bus but his pride kept him from telling us the truth and thus his reason that the 3AM bus was delayed was because there was a jam. Come on. Seriously? A traffic JAM, at 3AM? Slap me twice and tell me I'm not hearing that bullshit. We spent 3 hours talking, and another 2 after we found out we got conned. Finally, our lawyer-to-be, Emloyd, confronted a policeman and told our story.

Okay lah, this is where it gets complicated. You get the gist.

Anyway, we waited at Puduraya for almost 7 hours, STANDING. Why didn't we sit? Oh wells, there were people sleeping on all the benches. And also, we didn't want to sit on a cockroach infested floor. Sigh.

Thus, ends this tragic tale.

But in the very end, we got there safe though exhausted. Thanks to Eric's dad who took care of us so nicely. Thank you UNCLE!

We got so tired, that the slightest feeling of comfort and relaxation was enough to put us all in total bliss *cue heavens light*
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And this, people, was how excited we were, before the tragic tale.
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Credits to the cool photographer :)
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Picture with the awesome stomp-ers and of course, Shawn :)
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Say "I love durian"
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PUSH @ Sunway Uni College

Then there was the P.U.S.H event. Quite last minute, but fun nonetheless :)

Is this the one with our cool pose? Lol, I really don't know :p
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Can you spot me. Seriously.
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Chc's 8th Anniversary Dinner :)

Cannot see the dress properly, but you get the picture lah. Thanks Jeff for picking this *$* dress for me :p
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With dear Jda :) Love you babe.
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Getting it on with the stage :) Thanks Alvin.
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What you're bound to get after the gala :)

The head is immobile. But still able to smile, haha.
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That's all for now. I'm really too lazy and pissed off now, to blog any further.

xoxo.

Reflect.


I know it has been a terrible sin for me to always delay my updates (if there were any -.-). It's just that I've lost the knack of it. There isn't anymore excitement when blogging comes to mind and I'm guessing it started off when my camera broke down. I couldn't save the poor soul.

Anyway, I just realized that in year 2009 alone, I've only blogged.. 6 miserable times? Gawd, I'm so sorry to those of you who actually take the trouble to read my blog. As a sign on compensation, I shall try to be more of a blogger and less of a procrastinator. Give me time, preferably after May 18!

But before that I'd like to warn you that this is not a post full of pictures okayy :P

What's new some would say?

There isn't much that is new. Church has been something I'm getting used to go. It isn't a drag for me anymore I guess. Since they've changed the sessions a little, I find it easier to get to church. I actually look forward to it nowadays :)

Exams are around the corner, 14 days to be exact *gasp. So, if you see a girl wearing shorts and carrying a large bag, fretting with textbooks while walking on the road (or anywhere for that matter), that's probably me. I can never get used to exams. For those of you who have had major schooling; you know when the teacher actually punishes you for not doing your homework, or putting you in a lower class if you failed your tests, you'd probably feel a lot more at ease. Though, I don't know why I'd feel any different if I actually feel prepared -.- I need more mental energy.

Timo came back. He thought he could execute the flawless crime- surprising his own CG members, when actually he came a wee bit too late. He was spotted walking to our CG session. Haha, backfired. Oh well, it was still a pleasant surprise :)

Oh, I have a new pair of heels! Complimentary from dicsyen. *Pictures in a few days* He hated my gladiators so much that he actually bought a new pair of shoes for me. How nice. I get to wear it to Dash's awesome wedding!

As of now, I think Sunday would be the day I look most forward to. That's the day I get to relax and have bonding moments with awesome people :D

Just yesterday, I sat in for a preaching test. My cell members were giving a sermon. I don't think I regretted going because it brought my soul back on levelled ground. I felt peaceful for some reason. They did awesomely well ofcourseIhadnodoubt!

And, as for my critical down periods, I don't think it's necessary to mention it here. After all, the longest it lasts would probably be one day. I'm so blessed to have people caring for me. They'd bring me back to reality within a day, and I thank you all for that. Especially my cousin, who does not read this blog. I know that there are times I'm overly dramatic, but you never put me down, instead you try and help me up :)

April has been an awesome month!

KLpac is organizing an audition for those who are interested in performing arts. Do check it out before the end of April as auditions are held on 5th of May.

Check out this link if you are interested:
http://www.rwsentosa.com/auditions.html



Dinnertime. Toodelahs.

"I smell like you."- deercaughtinyourheadlights

Lovely memories without faces.


In a few hours time I'll be off to Singapore :)

I feel excited, but flooded with anxiety as well. Hopefully all goes well for everyone who's going. Oh, not to mention the agonizing bus ride that I'll be experiencing! Thumbs down for motion sickness :(
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Oh well, on another note, C3 came to City Harvest today :D

They were awesome and I had a front row view of the whole performance. Vibrations that leaves your body shaken even hours after the concert; it was just enlightening. Awesome performance, and they're kind of cute ;p
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Before I leave, 300km away from home, I feel the need to dig up the time capsule.

I miss:

This; the tranquil panorama.
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The moment that nearly went into sexy mode.
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Many kisses exchanged ;)
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The once in a lifetime delicacy :)
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I miss you, bear.

Waiting within the hour seems so long, and agonizing; but the more I think about it, the more emotions engulf my soul.

God, please make me feel good and not kill myself.

To end it, I pray for a safe journey, fun moments with brothers and sisters, an awesome performance, to shake Pastor Kong's hand again, to inspire the crowd and last but not least, to have a good time. I also pray for my sanity, and competence, in surviving emotional traumas. Father Lord, please hear me out :)

In Jesus name,
Amen.

Why bother?


In life, there are certain things that we do towards ourselves/other people that leaves us questioning. For example; why did I give away my last candy to the little boy?, why do I study?, why didn't I use the shortcut?, why don't I smile anymore?, why am I selling myself?, why did I become a fireman?, why did she/he leave me?, why do my parents argue?, why do some people choose to go to college @ 20?, why bother giving away presents when they wouldn't use them?, why did God choose me to be an orphan?, why did I cut myself?, why do people like Bush exist?; so on and so forth.

Yes, why bother? Why bother knowing the answers to all the above if what we did was out of true will? Why do we question our sincerity?

Reasons to why we question:
- As we grow older in age, we tend to think more. Mid life crisis perhaps?
- We HAVE to do those things, or else ___ (insert ans)
- Just for the sake of thinking.
- Because those things affected us emotionally/physically/mentally.
- Because we attempt to figure out the reason/meaning of living our lives. In other words, trying to understand life itself, which in return will only confuse us.
- We regretted taking/going down that path.
- We find it challenging to ponder over small questions like those, and question the many philosophies of life and choices.
- Our life lacks significance.
- Because we don't want to repeat a bad history.

Next step is, after we bother answering these questions, what next? What would we do if we knew the answers? I'm sure if it came out to be a positive/good answer we'll all continue living our lives as it is with all the happiness surrounding us. But what if it comes up to be a negative reason? Let's take a question from the top: "Why did I cut myself?"

1) I hated myself/I hate myself
2) I'm depressed/I was depressed
3) I just like pain
4) I like to see blood
5) There is no point in living because no one loves me

... so on and so forth.

What next? Do we slap ourselves senseless and tell ourselves that we ought to stop it and treasure life instead? Do we stop and and a step back to reflect? Do we continue being that way? Do we seek for help? Do we just wait for the pain to go away? What would we choose to do?

They say, in the end, good things come to those who wait. Wait for the answer to come to you instead of seeking for it; wait for your happiness to come back to you instead of searching what makes you happy the most; wait for the day where someone comes and tell you why you became a fireman; wait for the day someone offers you a job; wait for the day you die so you can ask God? Seriously, does it really work?
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I got distracted and lost track of what's on my mind, so I shall stop here in case I go out of topic :)

Gawd, I told myself I'll be damned if I posted this up but it spells h-a-p-p-y, so yeah, it's posted alright! I love you so, my cousin :) Tho you beat me in 02jam (I know -.-), I knew you did it with love. And, thanks for the hug; you made my Monday a tad better to live:D

"If there were reasons for me smile, one would be because I'm happy to be finally freed from questioning anything that makes me feel worthless/helpless."- thevoiceinmyhead.

xoxo`

I laugh at reality.


Konbanwa minna san. Issashiburi da ne? Well, well, here's yet another statement to tell those who read this blog of mine that I am not dead, yet. I've been so busy and tired both mentally and physically that a writer's block emerged. Though, I do not call myself some prestiged writer or any of that sort. Wow, four sentence and already the first disclaimer.

xx

Okay, before I go on, I shall now state here that this is so not a I'm-so-vain-full-of-my-pictures post. Why am I even telling you this? I'm sure by now, you are thinking to yourself that I'm implying that you're just too dumb to understand what I'm saying. No, no, don't get me wrong. There you go, another disclaimer. Life is full of disclaimers.

xx

So many things are happening and I don't even know where to start or I'll start rambling. Once that happens, surely there's no way to stop me or stop your ears and eyes from bleeding. So let's better not go there.

xx

What's been happening, some of you might say? Ahh... but alas, I cannot disclose it here. So many reason to, but so many contradicted reasons not to.

xx

Oh wait! I can tell you, something. Japanese exam on Dec 2nd and guess what? I'm hiking a mountain :) God, my life is so freaking interesting. Don't you think so? *cue sarcasm*

xx

Gosh, this is getting annoying and boring. I'm going to leave now.

*Was this post informative in any way? [tick one]
( ) Yes.
( ) No.
( ) What's the meaning of informative? -.-
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By the way, after being away for such a long period, I will be on hiatus mode once again. And then, when I'm back, the drama of my life shall begin once more. Nope, sorry, I'm not going to satisfy your curiosity. Not today, not until I feel like it ;)

Ending on a random note, or rather a question:

"Could you define justifying your undying love for someone".

Think this: WWJS? What would Jesus say?

If you have any harship/depressing/heartbreaking stories to share, feel free to e-mail me :) I could listen and maybe give you with all honesty and sincerity some words of encouragement and love.

Free hugs!

The boyfriend and I.


He came back from work early enough to obtain the element of surprise. Instead of stripping down to nakedness into the shower, he entered the kitchen. Dinner was at 7 and he had to prepare, roasted lamb with mashed potatoes and some coleslaw before his baby came home.

Determined to get it right, he got to work! But where were the spices? Where were the vegetables? Oh no, he said to himself. But despite the sudden realization that he wasn't familiar with the kitchen, he still wanted to make it right.

He searched diligently and got what he wanted. By the time he got the meal done, it was already 6.30pm! He was running out of time. Why so, you'd say? Because he has not washed up, showered and decorate the table. Thinking that he was Superman, he washed the dishes with too much soap, he showered, and he set up the romantic ambiance to a first class standard.

The doorbell rang. His baby has come home. But not in a way he'd expect her to be. She was drenched from head to toe. He had not realise that it was raining. Quickly, he took a towel for her. She had a bad day at work. She looked so stressed and tired that he didn't have the heard to get into all that dinner excitement alone. She went up to take a shower and came down.

She saw some things in the kitchen which he had forgotten to clean up, and got mad. She confronted him and he just kept quiet. She saw the mess that he made and scolded him once more. He took her in his arms, and she sobbed silently. He knew she had a rough day, and knew that she didn't mean what she just said. He knew what he signed up for when he wanted her in his life. All he wanted to do was to make her happy. After venting out her frustration on her loving boyfriend's shoulder, she smiled at him. In their relationship, that meant thank you baby, I love you.

He led her to the dinner he prepared and at once her eyes lighted up. She was touched and immediately, she gave him a tight hug. At that moment, he knew that, that was who she is and will always be; loving, sweet, apologetic, kind, warm and most importantly, his. Not owned, but loved.

xx

I didn't know IKEA sells paintings. Shhh, I wasn't supposed to take pictures. I got told off twice! Stubborn me, I seek thrills in doing what others do not allow :p Though, through these pictures, you'd probably think that the thrill was short lived.

Which painting caught your eye first?
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Affection.
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Through the hardships placed in front of us now, in time we will understand and get through the turbulence. Hold on, hold tight, on each other. The ride is rough, but it is worth it. My eyes doesn't deceive the one I love.
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Peek-a-boosh.
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"Hmm, I think it's right."
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I'm loving you with a smooch or two :)
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"It's something only you & I cherish."

I <3 you, stranger. *wink

You and Narcissism.

"The notice informed them that it was a temporary matter: for five days their electricity would be cut off for one hour, beginning at eight p.m. A line had gone down in the last snowstorm, and the repairmen were going to take advantage of the milder evenings to set it right. The work would only affect the houses on the quiet tree-lined street, within walking distance of a row of brick-faced stores and a trolley shop, where Shoba and Shukumar had lived for three years."
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"Somehow, without saying anything, it had turned into this. Into an exchange of confessions- the way they'd hurt or disappoint each other and themselves. The following day, Shukumar thought for hours about what to say to her. He was torn between admitting that he once ripped out a photo of a woman in one of the fashion magazines she used to subscribe to..."
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"He told Shoba about the magazine and sweater on the third night. She said nothing as he spoke, expressed no protest or reproach. She simply listened, and then she took his hand, pressing it as she had before."
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"Something happened when the house was dark. They were able to talk to each other again. The third night after supper they'd sat together on the sofa, and once it was dark he began kissing her awkwardly on her forehead and her face, and though it was dark he closed his eyes, and knew that she did too. The fourth night they walked carefully upstairs, to bed, feeling together for the final step with their feet before the landing, and making love with a desperation they had forgotten. She wept without a sound, and whispered his name and traced his eyebrows with her finger in the dark. As he made love to her he wondered what he would say to her the next night, and what she would say; the thought of it exciting him. "Hold me," he said, "hold me in your arms." By the timethe lights came back on downstairs, they'd fallen asleep."
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Jhumpa Lahiri "interpreter of the maladies". Wonderfully written. I would continue summarizing, but I'm pooped. I'll do it another day.

2 pics I found when I was younger -.-" knn, feel so old now.
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Poser sial.
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Oyukkuri nenasai anata.

I'm learning to breathe; xoxo :)``

Don't mess.

Bourne Ultimatum was a-w-e-s-o-m-e. Need I say more? Okay, I will then. Adrenalin pumping scenes, slick and quick and not exactly 'clean' wipeouts done by none other than Bourne a.k.a David Webb himself. Non stop action travelling around the whole of Europe, literally. Bourne beats any french policemen, lying down on the floor. He makes them look like poo. Fine, I wouldn't insult another country's military power/force when our own... nevermind.

An intelligent tough guy who knows how to get his way around plus a sense of humor, what more would you need to make Jason Bourne even more interesting than he already is? He's the man who fights in an old school, "kick, punch, strangle, punch, punch and more punches" style. While the other agents try to get a hold of him using tracking devices, phone bugging, camera surveilence, police forces/man power, guns, snipers, etc... he evades them just by using his head and body parts. Intelligence overpowers technology. That's Bourne for you. And it is worth 7 bucks, anyday.

Just one random question: What will happen to the world, if more people like Bourne existed?

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I've been busy and tired lately, so don't be mean saying that my blog is dead :p Don't mind if I blog a little less *winkerss

Now, this is the sign real boredom. People who sew should know what these are.
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True love comes once in a lifetime;

dare you.

Yours truly, love.

I have pictures of random stuff but I'm too lazy to get them posted. Blame it on the lack of inspiration :P muse oh muse, where art thou? ooooh, la la la. I'm loving the rainy days. Who am I kidding? Only if I wear long pants and a jacket will I enjoy the rain. Who wants to freeze to death anyway?

Randomness strikes again.

xoxo `smoooch.

Brats like you are pathetic.

It seems like it was just yesterday when I updated. How quickly time flies. "Men fear time. But time fears the pyramids".- dcvrchn. In this very moment, there is a extremely annoying mosquito taking a taste to my sweet blood, or not.

A series of events have happened since the last time I put my thoughts into words. I find that it doesn't matter if I do or don't. What matters is the fact that I know my own, and can hold them high with pride. What matters is my knowing that my own actions, are more than what many people are able to do. "Say not the sorrys that spills with remorse; I shall do the same."- saysI. I have come to a conclusion that what ever I do, will only be known noble to myself. No one else would understand, till the day I die. Maybe then, I'll leave enough tracks of strength, for others to follow.

Well then, I've said more than I should. Next.

xx

Random: An australian lady thought I was sarawakian and mixed Japanese. It's a nice suprise having people notice you and greet. After all, I'll be friendly to those who are :)
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My bosses keychain. Hella cute :) I like it.
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LOU! (If you've watched cats & dogs) Why are you neighboring beside my class?!
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Dungu took a pic of me reading a mag and drinking carrot juice. hmp!
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I sort of got bored when no customers came in. So, I decided to try on this beeteafool dress. But there's a catch:

It is meant for girls aged 11-12. ZOMG. Can fit, wtf?! But the chest area a bit tight :(

My colleague couldn't stop laughing at me, and she took this pic. "Act innocent Sarah!" But I couldn't -.-" I was about to burst out laughing at my own image.
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She made me look short T_T Mean.

xx

Mooncake fiesta.

It was a little weird going to grandma's place on a Tuesday. Just different. I was dead tired after work, but I had to go anyway. It's the lanterns I couldn't miss! This year, our competitors were the house across the road which we call "The bak kut teh boss". Don't ask me why. The mission was to hang any lantern at the highest point possible.

Light me up.

My light is surrounded by a brick wall, just in case.
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Life would be a bore, if the road was straight.
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Spot the stranger in the shadows. He was trying to exceed his heights' potential. And he made it.
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This is NO DOUBT my BROTHER'S lantern. Why? Obviously, because there's a hole in it -.-
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Darkness surrounds me but the light I carry guides me through.
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This is my story.
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And it still is.
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Pink, pink, pink! How can there be NO pink lanterns, you must be kidding me :p
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Who's there? *ghostly whisper*
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I name thou, Evonne. This cat followed us from the time we started playing with lanterns till we finished our dinner. A series of violent event followed as my uncle threw a slipper at the poor thing while my grandma's sudden burst to show power emerged. She sat at the door holding a stick -.-" Tsk tsk, where has the compassion gone?!
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See what I mean? So cute, but living in poverty. I guess we can't really make everyone happy.

xx

HAHAHAHA! HEADLINES!
(Don't kill me please)

Well you see, I can't reveal who it is, because if I do, I'll be dead by this Saturday. :(

This gesture is called, "Give me the camera now, or I'll BREAK THIS FRIENDSHIP!". Lol
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He who is sulking and under my power, nyahahahaha.

xx

PATISFRANCE.

A new bakery/ice-cream/coffee&tea place in Taipan. I like the interior design (well, coz they have mirrors mar :p) The bread there is alright. The ice cream roxor though ;) I've tried all of them, haha. Yeah, call me a fanatic but I was just curious. I think the ladyboss recognizes me now, since I come so often. She even gave me a little more than standard the other day!

*Big wet eyes*

So kind right?

Well this is "sorta" and insight of the sitting area.
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Menu, cashier.
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Bake-a-bake.
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Yummy, yummy, yummy. I <3 my ice creams.
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Best of all, there are some that consists of 0% fats. True or not, well, it's up to my body. If I become fat, then I won't go there anymore :P

xx

My bear that will always be there to hold my hand when I'm scared.

xx

I just have to end with this picture :) It's such a heartwarming scene. Kudos to you, uncle!
*It was taken when there was a flood in... (I forgot the place) This man, swam in the deep water just to save his beloved pets. Now, this is sweet ;)