"Believe me", I plead.

She was her own problem and for that she knew. The endless words spitting from her mouth, were purely to get her calmed but at the same time, disgusted the ones around her.

At one point, a guardian who wishes nothing more than for her to be herself once more, stepped up; it was a challenge of worth. Accepting that offer with the right set of mind, the first few miniscule steps, were executed with no problems.

Knowing that one can lose focus, she did. Tremendously and ungracefully. Unconciously, revisiting the past memories and the pain that somehow became the comfort zone; the first of problems aroused. There, she realized it may have been something trivial she did, but to others it was betrayal.

She then picked herself up once again, stronger than the last time and started working her way up. Before she knew it, the things she did and said, were exceptionally, true and relaxed. Like how a normal person should be. Though, occasionally, there were lies left behind. Actions only to make those around her believe she was okay.

All in the end, what ever she did, was always never good enough, even for that one step. No one acknowledged, no one heard, and true enough, she couldn't ask for anyone to understand, because no one would, and no one will. Same goes for her, who would only understand the true concern of the ones around, but never the same way that they feel.

*Savouring the last of friendship after adding more fuel into the taming fire. It was my fault, and I take all responsibility. I thank you for all the tolerance that you had for me, and the eyes that saw my misery. Though I may have meant almost nothing to you both, I've always looked up to and cared about you guys.

"May time help resolve the distance and hurt between us. And may you see me for who I am, soon." Only that I pray.

I still love you guys, and I'm sorry.

The Birthday

3 guys and a birthday girl all went out to have lunch @ KBBQ in Taipan. Wasn't a big party, just lunch. But it was meaningful =) Thanks for the great birthday Neal, Weiren& Hx.

Waiting for the latecomers to come pick me up! Muahahha :P Take pic@ Summit toilet -.-"

Didn't manage to take the restaurant banner but if you ever want to eat BBQ stuff and get GOOD service, this could be one of the place =) From the minute you come out of the lift, you can hear all the waiters and waitresses (if there were any) greeting you with open arms ENTHUSIASTICALLY. I was so fascinated that I kept on laughing and smiling. Anyhow, we got seated and as you can see, Neal and Weiren were fascinated with the displays of cute lil bowls and plates! *snigger snigger*

And presenting, the "Eat, Enjoy and Ecstatic pose!"...

Contestant #1
"Ahhh..!! So big la. You think can fit inside ar?" *Stufff..stuff..stuffs...*

Contestant #2
"mMmm... Reminds me of Jo. Lick lick..Tastes good :)" *Kidding kidding! Don't whack me k :P*

Oh, wait..commercial. This was the pinkish purplish vegetable side dish that weiren liked SOOO much; he ordered it 4 times -.-" *Nyam nyam...*

And..we're back!...

Contestant #3
*Gasps...Gasps...* "He ate the vege," Neal whispered. Weiren stoned.

Contestant #4
"Should I eat this? Is this nice?... AH... fuck it la, just eat!" *Chew chew, swallow*

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Then real food arrived.

The beef. We were treated like kings and queens. The cut, cook and served it for us. Whaahha *Shiawase*

OMG. Pukes. I just remembered how this tastes like, and I'm tellin you now, YOU don't want to know.
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Ah.. back to edible food.

The beef that you eat with veges. Kimbap?

All fat and full. Lolz. Merry pic taken by merry people :D

Watermelon KAMPAI!

Reminds me of kotatsu(s). Leg fight anyone?

It was a great day =) Thanks so much for remembering and celebrating it with me. You guys are the best! :D

Next up: The The continuation of my birthday and the BBQ @ Neals !

Happy 2007!

Happy 2007 everyone =) [Though, it's like half of Jan gone ;P Better late than never]

The bad of 06'..well some of them anyway:-

- Failed Grade 5
- Drinking
- Long-period depression
- Bitch fights
- Losing loved ones
- Adam's stroke
- Family misunderstandings

The good of 06'
- Truth revealed about people
- See everyone who have grown to be more mature
- Japanese achievements
- My birthday
- Being honest
- Cousin bondings (Celine, Vonne)
- Working recommendations
- Cookin and bakin more
- EYAA

It started off great,
When everything when straight,
Happy moments recorded,
And then fights we just couldn't be bothered,
Till that day, when everything just pained,
Even I, couldn't remain sane,
Arguments led to distress,
Which led on to more stress,
That ended trusting one, less and less.
Saw who was real,
And who was not,
Hurting those near,
That tried to help,
These blind eyes of mine,
Were not able to see,
I wasn't able to be,
What was beyond their eyes could see.
Fun that were genuine,
Good deeds that were the real thing,
The year that ended,
Was one to remember,
For the good times we all had,
I light a candle.

SSC Alumni 06'

Words cannot describe the presentation but who cares?!

The gruesome and the scardie cat -.- (Salute, salute)

For old times sake. (L-R: Slinky, Genie, Kevinie, and Williamie)

The goofy gorgeous guys. (Wow, 3Gs!)


Was bored before Xmas, so a lil cam whore was done. . .

Xmas, oh Xmas, please come soon...

"Ahhh...how many teeth can you see see?"

Blurred, time to go to bed. Oyasuminasai =)

*Next Chap: The Birthday :)

The greatest torture...

is to be uncertain and unsure.

Dear God,

Please help Adam to go through his current ordeal. It was a sudden shock for all of us. Give him strength to be strong. Please help ease his family's pain. I hope that you would protect his wife, Nicole and daughter Ammeryse from the shock and pain their going through. He is still young and active, so please God, don't abandon him now as his life is just starting to bloom. Please heal him and make him better once again. I pray that he will be alright soon. Help take the worrysome thoughts away as it's only a few days more before Xmas. Bless him Lord, for he did not ask for this. Let him live his life once again.

Amen.

Adam, my prayers goes out to you and your family tonight. I hope you will be well. We all will miss you this Xmas but please recover soon. We love you Adam, don't leave us now :(

Lotsa love,
Sarah.

May the angels sing a song of serendipity tonight.

Guess who's back?

Okaerinasai! =)

Minna san wa ogenkii?

It was gross, and cold but fun.

It was like a nightmare but a dream.

It had no hot water.

It only had the cool breeze as an air cond.

Bugs were all around.
squeek, squeek, chirp chirp, miao miao, crikety crick!

No hairdryer!

No piggy to hug.

No distilled water to drink =( >coz of this I had 4 ulcers<

There were lizards on the rooftop!

Floors weren't squeeky clean.

I was on military ground!

I was flying up in the sky.

I rushed and walked my way out of the bushy and slippery jungle.

... and sadly I came back with a sprained foot. *cries* Lol

Food was good but not so great...still! I can't complain; it was edible.

Everywhere I went, I brought a jacket.

An energetic wake up call in the morning :)

... Did I mention bugs? All the bugs were found near my area :(

Heavy bags. Heavy...heavy bags.

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But I, Sarah, has survived the fun but not so clean experience!
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I'm extremely happy and overwhelmed to say that I'm back!
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Anyone missed me? *bats eyelashes*
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Aww.. I missed you guys too! :D
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Well, now you can see me all you want! Coz I'm back and alive...
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... From camp. Haha. Unfortunately, I FORGOT to bring my cam, so no pics :( *I know, I know, I'm terrible. But not all is lost. I might have pics from other ppl who took. See if they could send it to me =)*

Now, I can have a nice hot shower, a comfy comfy bed, my teddies and my gadgets! Muahhahaha =D Computer, animes, and tv- HERE I COME :)

Xmass is coming. Have you guys finished your xmass shopping?

Coming up next : My wishlist ... *laughs*

Jingle bells ~~ Batman smells and Joyyyy joyyy to the world... coz I'm backz :P *Kiddin ya'll*

Ta!
xoxo

It's those small things that matter

I remembered the first time I heard this was a year after I left school. I was taking a lot of things for granted and my parents brought me to my senses.

"It's the small things that matter. Climb your way up to success. Nothing good will come out of getting spoonfed."

Though then, I thought it was bitterly harsh, I never once forgot. After I complain about a certain matter which I detest and hate, I will regain my composure with just those simple words.

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Recently, I've read a lot about Lee Joon Ki- korean actor. His life wasn't all that great before he became a popular and sought after actor. Looking at him for the first time, made me think that he had everything; good looks, his fans, his fun loving but sensitive personality, etc.

But reading more and more about him makes me think twice before I judge someone by the first impression. I was totally wrong. I won't elaborate much but his family don't live together, and he started out in Seoul only with 300 bucks.

He's successful now and going further to be an accomplished, respected and dedicated actor.

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There is more to life than just looking good, or having the best of looks. The effort and attitude are those that matter. You'll never know when luck will strike but it's only with the amount of hard work that grants us that "miracle".

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People always think that I'm a baby; that I don't try. I guess I'm misunderstood there. Hurts though, but I'm still alive right? There was a part of me who always wanted to be better than others. That competiveness kept me going. Now, it's as if the light has gone out. I'm really trying to figure whether I did anything wrong, or I'm just not meant to do the things I wanted to do.

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I really have no idea what's keeping me going these days. I wake up at odd hours and to be honest I don't like that fact, but somehow, it revolves around my comfort zone. I don't know where to go. While all my friends are already going to college and pre-u, it's not the same for me. My life is a lil more complicated than you think. I've never forgiven my parents for what they made me live through but I also have never given up on studies to pursue what I love. It's very hard being in that position for years and it hurts whever I do something wrong, because people make it sound as if I've detonated a bomb, killing millions of people.

Maybe this is life, but I don't want my life to be this way. I'm not prepared to lose everything- from loved ones to being a normal teen. I'm not mentally ready to sacrifice. Maybe one day, I will realize that no one is ever ready to do certain things.

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Words, they can be inspiring, and spirit boosting, but they also can break you into pieces. Frankly, I can pretend to not like something or someone, but I can never pretend to like something/someone. The words they say could easily break me or mend me. I'm still unable to accept my current situation and the more I sink into denial, the more I will lose out. My mind is getting abused...and I dare not lift a finger to protect it.

That's about it I guess. Random thinking and reflecting. I'm always expecting the worst nowadays but hoping for the best sometimes.

*Lee Jun Ki > Your dance moves, cheerful, playful and sensitive character always makes me want to live a better life. I can always count on you whenever I'm broken. I really thank you for existing and keep up the good work =) Work hard and live up to your dreams! Your songs really describe a part of who I am.

Aza aza fighting!! Bbahsya :)

Nightdreams

If I'd expect - I would probably die with the lost of hope;
If I'd hope - I would probably die for not expecting to know.
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Honto ni gomenasai...is all I could say.

"If only you'd know that the sadness I display, isn't meant to hurt you but to let you know that you could comfort me, when I'm in need." - Babychocolattes, 06

Goodnight, my dearest.
<3<3<3

If only you'd know...

You looked so fresh from afar,
Your classroom door, left ajar;
Everytime, I'd pass by you,
Just to have a glance of your new hair-do.
As glancing days passed by,
The closer we got,
The messages went unnoticed,
Only for something new to suffice.
Time was testing our assertiveness,
For only time could show us the way,
What was to come and may,
Will be something good to stay.
I wouldn't have thought that we'd be,
But God has opened up my eyes,
For me to see that,
What was a destiny,
Was just right in front of me.
While everything now seemed bland,
I know that I'm more than a best friend,
Love doesn't have to be grand,
Love doesn't need to be planned:
Trying to reach out to you,
In hope of the happiness that was always there,
Only thing lacking, was the nurturing and care,
Because of you, my heart seems broken,
But it's only the love inside, left unspoken;
If only you'd know...

*Having to have not brought my Malay literature book, I went into your class. Amongst everyone else, without a single thought, I headed straight to your desk, blushing intensely; asking you whether I could borrow your book. As quickly as I came in, I sprinted out*

Moshi watashi o aitakatta...

...you would say this:

Scenerio

My girlfriends and I just came out from the movie theatre.

"Let's go and eat some pasta shall we?" I suggested.

"Alright! Why not? Let's go!" They answered, enthusiastically.

Meanwhile... in the car, my baby darl missed me and so he called.

Him: Hey babe, where are you now?
Me: Hey baby!! Um, I'm with my friends, outside the theatre going to eat pasta now.
Him: Can we meet? *Puppish tone*
Me: Eh?.. but I'm with my friends.
Him: Must you really eat pasta today?
Me: We all agreed already wor...

Getting a lil tense...

Him: Why must you eat it today?! Don't eat! Come meet me okay?
Me: But...

Manglish starts to appear...

Him: Tell them you have some urgent matters to attend to lah!
Me: Huh....uh..
Him: Can la..can la..
Me: Wouldn't it be... *Interrupted*
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Him: I'll buy you a whole Itallian restaurant! Okiesh? I'm picking you up now!

*Hangs up*

Leaves a confused but a very very happy, delighted ME! Lolz :)

Writtings of the heart

Are they merely words?

Are they merely ink on paper?

Do they in any way hold a significance in our lives?

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"The heart of a fool is in his mouth, but the mouth of the wise man is in his heart." - Benjamin Franklin

"They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel." - Carl W. Buechner

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." - Eleanor Roosevelt

"Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart." - Khalil Gibran

" The truth isn't always beauty, but the hunger for it is." - Nadine Gordimer

"The young do not know enough to be prudent, and therefore they attempt the impossible, and achieve it, generation after generation." - Pearl S. Buck

"Since we cannot change reality, let us change the eyes which see reality. " - Nikos Kazantzakis

"Words are just words and without heart they have no meaning." - Chinese proverb

"English is the perfect language for preachers because it allows you to talk until you think of what to say." - Garrison Keillor

"I have learnt silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers." - Kahlil Gibran

"I endeavor to be wise when I cannot be merry, easy when I cannot be glad, content with what cannot be mended and patient when there is no redress." - Elizabeth Montagu

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved." - Helen Keller

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I have often pressured myself to the extend of losing my vision in life, to an emotional breakdown, to being a perfectionist and finally when it all comes down to the real deal and doesn't happen the way I planned it to be, I blame myself.

People have always saw that potential in me. But am I the only one who cannot see it because I have not gotten up from past failures? I've degraded myself from being an intellectual person to a person who only knows how to complain about hardships.

Though I may not suffer the poverty of the poor, lonliness of the orphans, and difficulties of the disable, I have my share of pain. Through the last 4 years of my life, I have experienced the greater love that could be even greater, achievements that I never thought I'd have, the perseverance to do things which are neccessary, expand the values worth living by but also dramatic failures, cries of insecurity, lack of parental guidance(or so I thought), anger that drives to suicide, and most of all, to have dealt with my flaws.

Life went from carefree to a struggle even to have the slightest fun. Or to be more precise, having fun but feeling the guilt inside. Fun wasn't fun anymore, even when I tried to make it happen for my conscience told me that I owe my family somethings. Aunties went from spoiling to lecturing and now, cautious about everything I do. Then I thought... "Well, gotta appreciate everything you have now." I don't want to be judged as an ungrateful child just because I couldn't live by my means at the moment. I have adapted to a certain extend, and I am well proud of myself.

"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your mind off your goals."

How do I get back on my feet? I seem to need someone to take my hand and lead me to show myself, who I was then.

"It takes less time to do a thing right than to explain why you did it wrong." - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

It's time to continue doing the right thing.

Home, not so sweet home

He has done many things and many others to cover up his crimes. He has an eye for pretty things. He has an attitude problem. He is slick but yet childish in his ways of thinking. He has eavesdropped countless times. He is also known as the second mom. He has been caught doing unecessary things. He doesn't admit to his mistakes. He always finds an opening for an empty argument. He always wants to have last say. He is naive. He is mischievious. He is innocent looking, but can be dangerous on the inside. He is not who we think he is. So, what is he? Take a guess.

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"There are hidden dangers in the house. No one hears me. No one believes me. Somehow it will all be forgotten again. Suddenly, home isn't the safest or sweetest place as of now."
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But, this time, it's not going to slip. I will catch you. And when I do, you will be sorry for the things you did. For this is not the first time, and when I catch you, I will make sure it is the last.

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Ohayo gozaimasu minna :)

Good luck once again to all SPM students. Have a nice day and do your best. As long as you isshokenmei ganbarimasu, there is nothing to lose.

Itterashai! *A hug for warmth in the cold air cond room =) - Anata

Latest addiction

Sometimes cousins are so mean. And I mean YOU Vonne! :D

:( The DVD you gave me .. is so addictive that I'm actually excited to see you this week! Hahahhaa =P So, what is it that I'm addicted to actually?

It's kiddish I know but everyone has their own interests and entertainments.

Kyou Kara Maou!, is a bishounen anime show. Bishounen practically means, nicely drawn heart throbbing dreamy guy characters. The storyline is so far alright, as there are fair amounts of humor and also plot.


Why am I addicted to it?

Clearly because it's funny, and it makes me happy. Though not real, it's entertaining and sometimes might just spark up some creativity in me to do... well, stuff. =X

It gets kinda gay-ish sometimes, I'd admit, but it doesn't really freak me out lol. Fruits baskets are another must watch if you like bishounen animes.

So cute... The honey bear I meant :D

Main character: Shibuya Yuuri; (Heika) Your Majesty; Maou (Demon King), a.k.a "wimp" (declared by Wolfram- his "fiance")...Lol :P Yes, I know. He doesn't look like one. But there is another side to his appearance. The real Demon King appears only when neccesary. But I think the demon king should appear more OFTEN! Muahhahaha =P

Demon King delight ;) The other side of Yuuri

Maou desu! Kakui ne?
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His "fiance" : Wolfram von Bielefelt. Blonde and very easily aggravated. Calls Yuuri a "wimp" just coz he likes it :P Tends to follow yuuri everywhere he goes and protects him at all costs. Always wants his way and is very short tempered. Yuri "accidentaly" proposed to him, just by slapping Wolfram's left cheek for insulting his mom- a human. In the Maou world, doing that meant proposing to someone.

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His Majesty's bodyguard and "guardian" : Sir Conrad Weller. Tall, brown and some what handsome; he is very protective of Yuuri. The only person that Yuuri is close to; brotherly bond wise. Spectacular swordsmanship. Middle child of Lady Cecille, elder brother to Wolfram and younger brother to Gwendal. The only child who doesn't have magician's blood. Unable to use magic, since his dad was a human. (Gwendal and Wolfram's dad was born a magician, so they can use magic).

Conrad and mom. Wah.. the relationship, lol ;P The mom is so funny. Look at his stupid face, playing along hahahaha.

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The Grumpy one : Gwendal von Voltaire. He looks fierce, scary and respectful. He stands tall and doeasn't rush into things, unless in a desperate situation. Inside, he is a caring, and protective person. Though sometimes the reluctancy to obey His Majesty, he obliges. The only person he is afraid of is his sister, Anissina. Why so? Well, go watch and find out =) An earth magic user. This may suprise you, but he actually likes cute things. They can make him go soft... hahaha.

Mother and Son relationship. Lolz :P

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The dramatic and gentle one : Gunter von Christ. Has long, flowy purplish hair. Very dramatic when it comes to his Majesty. He loves Yuuri and tends to worship him. Always by Yuuri's side when it comes to persuding the minority to agree to his requests and wishes. Very cautious all the time. He wants His Majesty to study the history of their land and also be around him all day. Don't let his looks deceive you for all you know, he is a powerful magic user and also a great swordsman :P

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The experiment woman : Lady Annisina von Karbelnikoff. Crazy woman. Has an invention for almost anything, such as, a fragant clothes washer, the "spin spin".. and much more nonesence which normally doesn't work. She uses Gwendal as a guinea pig in her experiments. Often bosses him around. Girls look up to her; Guys runs away from her. Lolz =P

Could only find one at the moment. Not many pics of her yet.

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The flirty and "wanna be" young mom: Lady Cecelie von Spitzweg. The ex-Maou. She loves jewelry. I can hardly see her serious, (Since now I just finished watching S1). Always wearin revealing clothings, to attract men. Has an older brother: Stoffel.

All in all, it is very entertaining so far. Nice animes are hard to find nowadays, coz all of their storylines or drawings aren't really good. This one, I will watch till it's over! Wahahha :P

Off topic: -.- I'm sick, again. I was perfectly fine this morning and now there is an annoying flu. I keep sneezing and sneezing! Wahliao. Tomoro, I'll see a pile of used tissues on my table. Hopefully sleep will wash it all away.

Off topic 2: Went and did volunteery service at the zoo on Friday. It was fun, since they didn't seperate all 4 of us. Will update on this, next Friday with pics, I guess :p ... or not? Haha, see lah.

Off topic 3: I feel like eating steak. Who wants to take me out?! Lolz. Kidding.

Off topic 4: SPM is finally here. The much awaited moment to let all the anxiety go and the late night cram studies result's to be shown. Good luck to all SPM students!

Okay.. that's enough off topics. Niters for now :D

*Anata ga aitai desu :) Aishiteiru anata.

Kuso

Fucking pain.

Argh. :(

Symphony

Once it was just between 2 loves.

The combination; spunk, moxy and passion.

Created an orchestra.

The ensemble which compensates for one another.

...

The Symphony.
Our rhapsody.

Is there a sequel? Where has it gone to?

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How long ? How much more ?
Curiosity brings the most toturing conclusions, that evolves into thoughts, that becomes assumptions and uncertainties, which causes confusion.
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It's a vicious cycle-
And, it's painful.

Hallelujah!!!!

Oh.My.God.

Finally :(

2 days of machine-less routine, the inability to connect to the internet and the desperate cries inside grows louder and more persistent.

That was when I called Streamyx, to make sure they filed an ERROR report! And they did. Good. *That was after many days of complaining to customer services and many phone calls made!*

Telekom guy came, fixed the modem and the skies shall be blue again lol!

The Goddesses blessed me so that I didn't have to go to the cc later *muahahahaha* Yes, I know. Don't say it. I know what you wanna say =P Lolz :)

Bittorent and more animes, to be entertained to.

Hallelujah! Amen.

MmMm...

If love made me blind,
I wouldn't mind,
For if you were by my side,
I'll be just alright;
If sacrifices are made for love,
I wouldn't mind,
For if you love me enough,
No matter how tough,
You'd always come back;
If love was hard work,
I wouldn't mind,
For if you were broke,
I wouldn't make a joke;
I'll be the shoulder,
That you can rely on;
And create another special bond;
If distant love meant to be stronger,
I wouldn't mind,
For as long as we both hold our hearts together,
Things would always turn out better;
The distant is no more a matter.
Loving you for better or worse,
A great depth shall be immersed,
For a better future;
That vision we'd conjure.
I'd be willing to be there,
Despite the words we can't share,
For in time to come,
The ocean will calm,
The relief,
The peace,
And all those years that you've been missed,
Will only become.... <3 this.

As I pray for you tonight, in hope that you'll sleep in a peaceful state of mind... Fear not the shadows that influence your judgements. I'll always be here, from now and forever; to do my best to listen, to even the most outrageous things you have to say =) Because, I like that in you. Goodnight, hun. x0x0

Complications

... in the head gets us no where.

We think; we speculate; we assume and finally come up with a hypotethical conclusion but no real explanation. This is what I guess we call, or rather I call, the curious mind. In a way it's good and bad. Good coz we think and evaluate; spark up the creativity of one's imagination. Bad coz prolly it'll just drive us nuts.

We think we know but we'll never be sure. That's when trust comes in. Sometimes decisions lies not in our hands and we can only stand back and watch. Suspicion and uneasiness sometimes occur but never let it bring the whole stage down.

In times of seriousness, I think we shouldn't joke. If things need to be mended, put it as part of the priority list. To be trusted, is not just by the words spoken, but actions taken.

People do many things out of the blue and sometimes aren't proud about it. Sometimes people do something and expect some what of a expectation but it never comes. Then we'd feel disappointed and crushed. At some point I'm sure we all get over it. But that's probably denial. Sooner or later, it'll come back to haunt us and the pain will be more unbearable than before.

The mind; is so complex that I'm struggling to put my thoughts into words. It's like everything I wanna say is in the mind but my vocabulary is not enough to describe them accurately- definite.
To care is to firstly know the characteristics and personalities of a person. Know how to rub them the right way. To care, is a gift. Not everyone can care for someone sincerely. If the person you care about feels comfortable knowing the truth, so be it. Tell them, though you think it will hurt, but to them, it is some what a relief. If a person you care about likes 'Chocolate Indulgence' to know that you care, go get them some! *It's really good btw* :)

Sometimes there is this urge to blog about somethin in my head. But once I sit down here, it disappears. Getting a hang of it is the key to the mind game I guess. Control, and express. So many things to say, but all with 'buts...' Mind's are so ineteresting but yet so deadly; destructive.

Quote of the day:
"If life is a game, then these are the rules." - babychocolattes, 06

*Untitled* .. or so you think?

Lol, drama flama. All that just makes me wanna laugh. It's so funny, I can't stand it lol.

God, there are so many haters in this world :( Let alone right here in Sel. Too bad I guess. It's the ying and yang haha (somehow I feel I sound like a monk...or nun.. or wadevs -.-"). Balanced between the good and evilness... Hahaha. Comment-less :X

It's so tempting to post somethin back, somethin that will probably shut the dramatizers up. But I guess, I don't stoop that low =P

It's not worth my untitled post so I should just move on to another topic..

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7km marathons aren't easy! I joined one yesterday; it was my first time after so long that I've participated in one :) I stepped into the stadium around 6.30am and whoa! I felt so outta place man =.= SO many pro(s) wearin all that short running pants and sleeveless shirts. Then there's me and muh bro wearin the sponsored T's and comfy shorts. It was a line between the PROs and AMATEURS Lol!!

Shorts like these? You will never see me in THAT!

So, starting was a bit tricky coz there were so many ppl; all wanting to be at the front line -.-"

..OHOH! and there were ppl wearin roller blades! I should do that in the next marathon! Muahahahhaha :P But of course, they weren't counted as runners la !

HAHAHA!! Speedoz LOL! ROFL!! Nice skinny toned legs dude :P Somehow I find their smiles very sohai-ish. Mebbe just posin for the cam man! Still.....funny larh >"<

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Anyyyway~~

My brother desserted me all of sudden, I couldn't find him and that was the beginning to meeting him at the finish line >"< I ran for about 5km, and the car fumes were gettin to me. Eventually I slowed down to a slow jog... *I felt damn pressured everytime someone passes me T_T* At one point, I was about to faint.. Only then, I decided that I needed to walk and take a breather. Haha, weakling me =( *"If only..." thoughts came in... (If only.. I trained harder or longer before the marathon...)*

Ahhh... so thirsty! Need a pipe to quench the thirst :(

Reached the finish line, after 45 mins. The first thing that came to mind was..."Where is the blardy Milo stand!!??" Pissed off, tired and sweaty... I saw the heavenly truck and miraculously, I sprinted there! *See what Milo can do to you !*

*Heaven*

In the end, I went home, feeling satisfied for accomplishing muh first marathon without stopping! KO-ed totally for 3 hours after that and woke up only to find...
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Sleepin...
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zZZzzZ.....ZzZZz....
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Dreamin.... *Hugs*
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that I had to attend an exhibition -.-" AND I was already late. *Bugger*

P.S: Why didn't I post any of my pics up? Coz! My mummie too lazie to take... =3 She didn't wanna follow me around while I was sweatin if off ! Grrr... Ish! Nvm, there will be another marathon; this time I will take my cam along :D!

Yeah!! :D

Oh! One thing I have learnt is to always bring a bottle of liquid while running a marathon. Dehydration, slows you down TERRIBLY!

*Semangat-ness! Pumped up!* Feel damn motivated to go for a 2nd one!! [Let's just hope ya'll can catch up with me eh?] :P!

Laugh out loud!

What does Chocolattes do when she's hyper?

~ Dance like a diva
~ Strip dancin!
~ Experiment different hairstyles
~ Do sit ups at 5am!
~ Write this
~ Consume more sugar
~ Watch "honey" (A movie)
~ Download hip hop dances
~ Drink milo
~ Play dress up
~ Cam-whore kao kao
~ Draw stuff on bro's books
~ Watch Peter pan
~ Miss calls ppl
~ Laugh at everythin
~ Open the fridge
~ Act pouty
~ Dance with the teddies
~ Spam IMs
~ Smile until I finally fall asleep
~ Act kiut
~ Talk to self
~ Arrange books/magazines
~ etc, etc, etc

Hahahahaha.... I think this is the 3rd persona post! It's not the craziest of things but it's still weird and stupid lol. I think there's more but I guess the creative-ness will only come out once I'm tipsy *ROFL

I'm like so high right now I think I can't walk up the stairs. I'd fall ... *boom boom boom*!! Bangs head and ends up in the hospital +_+ LOL!!

Alright man :D:D:D Imma gonna do some dance and sit ups ?
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If I ever make it to the living room -.-"!!

Muah muah muahhhhsS! Kisses to protect my hun tonite =x

xoxo I heart you... You... you... naughty naughty *beep*

<3<3<3

When you have nothing nice to write...

... Don't write it. Don't speak of it. Don't have anythin to do with it.

Shruging it off is the key to keeping a brain sane. In my case, MY brain.

Muaahahhahaha ;P Nola, I'm not emo-ed. Read my magnificent thoughts (though, it's not everything) and comment! It's worth it! Will lurve ya'll loads :) *wink wink*

*current resolution: Pumpin up da confidence yo!

"Don't judge me as a character, but as a person."

You can't always get what you want. You've done your part and now it's time to let the fortune wheel come your way. But in knowing that... it's always difficult when it comes to letting it be; especially when it's somethin close to heart.

Sometimes it's appealing/relieving to get a reason, comments and feelings directly. I have always been a person that needs 'words of affirmations'. Not for a black and white statement sake; it's just me. It's something that I need. Be it for decision makin, or opinions seeking. Beating around the bush doesn't work for me. Might as well, tell it to my face. Truth is not really escapable- inevitable. For the times I refrained myself from askin more, is probably to respect someone else's privacy; but curiosity always, and I mean, always kills the cat. When somethings are involving you as a person; as a pawn with emotions, there will always be the need to secure the way you're speculating things. Thinking things in ur head, makin assumptions, jumpin to conclusions; utterly a paranoia- a migrain inflicted, emotions will go haywire, and judgements will become too vague. And there you have it- a vulnerable humanoid.

The mind leads us to believe, sometimes even when we don't see the logic.

In more xtreme cases, u might even lose sanity. The mind is a powerful thing, but yet an easy influencial (is there such word? Ugh, who cares..) target. A weak mind could easily be exposed to manipulation. A mind might just be a brain thinkin, but it involves a human's life. Destroy a person's mind and you could probably destroy their lives.

As for me, I'm a sentimental person. I take everything that is valuable, precious, important, close to heart, and irreplacecable, seriously. I always mean what I say- emotions wise. If I say "I love you" I mean it. If I say "I hate you" I also mean it. There are no criterias' to one's way of showing a certain emotion. We cannot always expect the expected or want the expected. Indifferent, yes. But wonderful, depending on how you look at it.

"Sometimes, the situation does not allow a particular bond to form. But it's giving a chance to it, that makes a difference." - Babychocolattes, 06

But there's one thing that I've learnt in my life of 17 years: Always be the happier side of you. Do not show a frown to your loved ones, even when you're in an excruciating pain: heartaches, headaches, stomach ache, lost, etc. Always tell yourself to smile even at the worst of times.

Saying it's easy huh? But I have learnt that that's the only way to show your efforts. To allow someone happy, excited, carefree and hyper to have fun with you. And slowly they will understand your pain. Describing is futile. Feeling it is insightful and sensitive. Judging will be unecessary.

Though, I'd also like to point out that, although patience is virtue, stupidity is vice.

Everyone has a limit to something. Note that the one person that tries hard to make another happy, shouldn't be neglected of emotions. Acknowledge them to show that you care. If not, they'll probably feel unwanted and shitty for trying so hard. If the quote "Presistence pays off" exists, then I'm sure efforts are bound to as well. We all wish for the best anyway, but not everything we want to happen, will happen in our favor. That's just a part of life, I guess.

Humans will always be humans. We all commit all 7 deadly sins but also embrace the "infinite" kindness and humanity. That I think, is what we call, equalization? or is it correspondence?

People will always have comments about how you look, whether you're fat or skinny, intellectual or just plain dumb, strong or weak, bitchy or a saint, etc. Accept them though they may not be positive critisisms. There is always someone else better than you. Don't let comparisons make you stray away from who you are. You can change for the better, but you cannot change who you are. Who you are is like your DNA. You can't change ur DNA can u? -.-"

Loving myself is still hard for me to do. There is a certain inferiority involved and I can't seem to let it go. Competition is good, but what's the point if the grand prize is uncertain?

Therefore, it's not wrong to be just- who you are.

P.S: Ya'll know that there is a place in my heart that is currently irreplacable but crushed. Some of you might think "why did Sarah write this all of a sudden?". Well, if you think there is a message up there somewhere, then read the hidden codes a.k.a between the lines :)

"I don't know how far I'm willing to go, but as of now, I won't stop half way." - Babychocolattes, 06

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Remorse happens everyday for me. Moments of weaknesses abolishes; but I always put it up with a smile. I'm not an angel sent by God to please everyone. I don't even have the strength to please myself. Disappointments are inevitable in life. But they are mandatory essence that we live through to get to the top. Being at the top; you'd probably have the liberty to make more people happy. So work it!

Being in the same zone with me, is probably the best anyone could do atm. But no matter what, I will not stop trying. If you don't see results now, just wait and let the future unfold infront of your eyes :)

Love you loads *~*